Once upon a time, a friend of my sister’s graciously gave us a beautiful crib. Word had gotten out that we were poor, knocked up post-college kids living in a shoe box (only slightly inaccurate) and weeks later, a brand new crib arrived.
For the first few months, Waylon slept in his bed like a champ. There were even a few times he slept through the night. I celebrated by doing a very special dance and then phoning all our relatives to say our baby was a miraculous wonderchild.
Rookie mistake.
Soon he was getting up every hour (or even half hour) to eat and scream and slowly I began to lose my mental faculties, promising to sleep train this child as soon as it was doctor recommended.
Then one night, I simply had enough. I was so tired that I knew sitting in the rocker for even one minute would send me into a very dark place. So I kissed Waylon’s sad forehead, placed him back in his crib and walked away. Two hours later, he finally fell asleep from exhaustion. He was three months old. It was not a good night.
The next day I left for a weekend away with the ladies from my in-law’s family. I brought Waylon and we shared a room without a crib. It was during that night I learned to nurse lying down. It was amazing.
From that moment forward, Waylon slept with us. Every night and every nap he was in our bed, made safe by the fact that our bed has always been on the ground, kind of like camping.
Some people praised us for co-sleeping, others warned against it. Mostly we were in survival mode. At one point we tried to sleep train him again when nights got rough, but it was a giant failure. He wasn’t ready and neither were we.
Fast forward to April and here we are with a 9 month old who lives in our bed. He loves it, we tolerate it. We aren’t in a rush to get him out, but we aren’t in a hurry to keep him either.
Last Friday a new king sized bed arrived for us, inspired by our bad backs and full sleeping arrangement. Ironically, the bigger bed has led us to a little trial separation, motivated by the fact that the new bed is up off the floor and too dangerous to nap in.
I thought about the crib. Waylon thought about the crib. We all thought about the crib and decided it just wasn’t for us.
A while ago, my friend Suzie wrote this blog post about Floor Beds. I was skeptical, Austin was intrigued. I liked the idea of it, but was concerned about the logistics.
One year later and it makes perfect sense. After reading a few articles and getting the approval of (a very enthusiastic) Baby Daddy, we moved our old queen mattress over to Waylon’s ghost-town of a room and set up house.
Now Waylon plays in his room, naps in his room, and even spends a few hours in there every night, safely nestled in his own familiar stink and only one wall away from his slightly overprotective parents.
Despite a few raised eyebrows and questions of “what in the world are you going to do when he gets out of bed,” it may be our best parenting decision to date. It gives him some independence, us some space, and the ease of crawling into his bed instead of ours when one of us needs a cuddle.
If you’re rolling your eyes, I understand. It’s totally weird not to stick your kid in a crib until they’re a few years old, but the Montessori Floor Bed approach is not all that crazy if you strip it down to the basics. Really it’s just baby proofing, sticking a mattress on the floor and putting a baby gate on the door. Think of the whole room as a playpen, except there’s room for a bed in one corner and your sanity in the other.
Waylon thanks you, Ms. Montessori, and so do I.
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More Information on Montessori Floor Beds
why do you think marc goes to Montessori for preschool? i love that woman. folks need to relax. there are million ways to raise a child. And for the record, Luc still comes to our bed sometimes in the middle of the night, and Marc comes in around 5 am or so at times. and we have cuddle fests. i highly doubt theyll be doing it when they are 16….
You are one of my mama role models. For sure.
I think it’s a wonderful idea and I am glad you were able to find something that worked for you. Traditional Japanese houses aren’t big enough for beds and they sleep on roll up futons; think of it like that :)
Oh! You’re right!
yay! :) his room looks great. i’m excited for you guys.
Thanks for inspiring us, Suz!
Love love love! I’ve never heard of this approach before! This seems so do-able and makes sense! Glad you are getting some of you’r sanity back! :)
Thanks Jess!
Great job Kate. I’m sure this will be an inspiration to other Mamas too. We use the crib and it works for us, but every baby and family has different needs and I’m so happy that this is working out so well for you!
Thanks Candis. We’ll definitely keep the crib for the next baby. Maybe he/she will be more flexible (aka: easier).
I also wanted to ask… are you using cloth diapers now? Have you been using them long? I’m torn when it comes to cloth vs. disposable. What are you thoughts, I’d love to hear!
One of my friends actually wrote a great post about cloth diapering today, definitely check it out: http://www.ladyleeinprocess.com/2012/04/cloth-diaper-update.html
Here are my thoughts:
Cloth diapering is easy, saves money, and is great for the environment. I probably do it 50% of the time, mostly because I don’t have enough (yet?) to do it full time. It’s really simple with brands like Fuzzibunz. I definitely recommend it.
So glad you found something that works for you! Every baby and family is different. That Montessori stuff is amazing! We can’t do the floor bed as my little lady thinks sleeping is for the birds.
I’m looking forward to hearing how it works as Waylon grows and y’all adapt.
Agreed. And who knows how long this will work. I hope it lasts!
Hats off to Montessori. All kinds of awesome.
But because my kids sleep like yours, I must know the logistics. How do you get him to sleep? Nurse him into submission? Lay with him? I need specifics.
I nurse him into submission. Every.Single.Time.
Is it naive to just hope this just naturally and easily changes someday? I’m hoping not.
Love this!!!!!!!!!! I occasionally make floor beds with random blankets when I’m home alone and have to let the dog in, but they never look as luxurious as Waylon’s! I may incorporate this when Norah has her own room….pinning now.
Hooray!
Haha, I LOVE this! My parents had 7 children.. Never used a crib :) They thought we were weird for getting one. Our son slept in our bed till 11 months. Now he sleeps in his crib at night, but NEVER has napped there. I think this idea is genius! Get sleep whatever way you can! Don’t worry about “training” him or anything, seriously, it will all work out :) He’s still just a baby and who knows, your next one might be completely different. Enjoy the clingy-ness :)
What an inspiring comment! Thanks Amy!
My girl is almost eight months old and she hasn’t slept a single minute in here crib. Not at night and not for nap time either. For the first three months of her life, we didn’t see the point in setting it up since we would be moving and we had a hammock for her to sleep in (ha!). She’s been in our bed since I discovered nursing lying down as well (lifesaver!), and I’m in no hurry to get her out. I feel slightly guilty because there’s an empty crib in an unused room, and while the crib was a hand-me-down, the mattress was purchased new for us. I have no intention of moving her to the crib, and I’ve actually considered doing the floor bed as well. I love the idea because I can nurse my girl to sleep in her bed and then have some me and daddy time in our bed (for at least part of the night). Your experience encourages me and reassures me that this is the right route for us as well.
April, I’m so glad you discovered nursing lying down as well! It made life so much better. Yes, plenty of co-sleepers transition their kids by putting a mattress by their bed (we did this) and then eventually in another room. It’s genius!
I think cribs are weird.
They are a little weird.
This sounds like a great transition! He’s comfortable with it, you’re comfortable with it. Everyone wins! I’m going to suggest it to a friend who’s been sleeping with her baby- for when they’re ready to transition as well. Good idea Kate!
i think it’s awesome.
there’s my two cents.
I always appreciate your cents.
this is brilliant. you all seem very happy with it!
I am so happy you found something that works for you (and ends up giving you a little space in your own bed too) and that you are just going for it! Maybe it will inspire someone else who is having trouble figuring out what to do. I think more mothers should be more honest (that is why I love how you write) because we all have good and bad days and it helps so much to know we are not alone! The crib has worked well for us but that is this baby… who knows about the next one… :)
Thanks Hannah!
I’ve never heard of this idea before but it seems to be so smart! He’s not going to fall far if he does ever fall out of bed and it’s so much easier for you to console him! Not to mention much less costly!
peacelovedecor.com
Hopefully this floor bed thing works for you!
all this talk about nursing laying down brings me to a question. I nursed laying down with the first two. This third one though? Milk flows out his nose as he’s sucking. Doesn’t bother him one bit but it bothers me. Why does this happen and how is he not inhaling it?!
Oh, that’s sad for baby. I didn’t nurse Waylon laying down until he was three months old. Maybe it’s because he’s too little?
My (delayed) 2 year old sleeps on a floor bed. She hated the crib, and at 18 months still wasn’t sleeping or napping, so when my mom was getting a new bed, we took her old double.
It’s been amazing. For the last six months? Liv has slept like a rockstar. And if she’s sick, and I need to be near her? I can just lay down with her. It’s the best thing ever.
Yes! Very convenient. Glad you found it works for you too!
I am crazy in love with this idea!! One of the things I don’t like about a crib is you can’t snuggle. This is genius! And when number two comes along they can cuddle together!
Wouldn’t that be ideal!
I was very recently introduced to the concept of the floor bed… maybe less than a month ago. And now, here I read your post. Putting it in the forefront of my mind again.
My youngest child has some special needs in the way of an orthopedic impairment… and I really think that a floor bed may be the way to go with her! Of course, with her, it may end up being the opposite, and she’ll need a higher bed. But my approach to beds has definitely opened up!
Thanks for sharing!
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Awesome for you that you discovered something that works for you and your 9 month baby! You mentioned child proofing…is your bookshelf tethered to the wall? Our nanny’s sister climbed up on hers when she was leas than one and the bookshelf came tumbling down on her…
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Great post!
Had to share: http://minipiccolini.com/2012/05/cosy-montessori-style-floor-beds/
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