It’s Baby Daddy’s 28th birthday today.
In celebration of this tremendous occasion, I am presenting you with a ridiculously sappy post for your gagging pleasure. You’re welcome.
28 Reasons Why I Love You
1) You take out the trash on trash day. This may seem like the most insignificant of tasks, but for me it is a symbol of responsibility. It reminds me that you also change the oil in our cars and do the taxes and fix the light-bulbs without being asked. These are not the tasks of boys, these are the tasks of men.
2) You look like Ryan Gosling. Like all liberal, white girls across America, I try my very hardest not to be shallow. I say things like “Beauty is on the inside” and “What cleft pallet?” and “I didn’t even notice Adele was fat.” But the truth is you are smokin’ and I love it.
3) You are secure in your masculinity. You wear pink shirts.
4) You’ll watch Romantic Comedies and Indie flicks with me. And openly admit to loving Notting Hill, the chick flick of all chick flicks starring the chick flick himself, Hugh Grant.
5) You say weird things. Like, “I’d really like to get back into birdwatching,” even though you were never into birdwatching in the first place.
6) You appreciate Social Networking but don’t bother with it yourself. No Facebook. No Twitter. But you’ll humor me by clicking through an album of my ex high school friend’s second baby and their dog.
7) Your phone is old. Really old.
8) Your car is older. Antique.
9) You love food. Like me.
10) You love talking about food. Even more like me.
11) You let me sleep without hassling me.
12) You let me write without bothering me.
13) You appreciate the humor of a well-timed “that’s what she said.”
14) You fight fair.
15) You explain math without being condescending.
16) You explain “men” without being outdated.
17) You call me out when I need to be called out.
18) You vacuum.
19) You scrub the shower.
20) You put the sheets on the bed without complaining.
21) You feign appropriate concern over all my many concerns. Did you lock the door? What if someone breaks in while we are sleeping? What if they hide in the shower? But seriously, what if they did hide in the shower? Is this headache a tumor? What if Waylon wants a motorcycle? What if Waylon has epilepsy? What if Waylon is on a motorcycle and has an epileptic seizure?
22) You appreciate concerts.
23) You appreciate style.
24) You understand the value of surprise.
25) You are a great gift giver.
26) You are always the designated driver.
27) You are a first born child.
28) You are, unmistakably, the truest version of you on almost any given day. And that is something I will always appreciate.