Love Story: Part Two

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2012

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Continued from Love Story: Part One

So you may be wondering what could possibly be left to say about our love story after part one. We talked, we met, I moved, and you know we tie the knot. Who cares what happened in between? And it’s true, I could just say “and then we got married- the end.” But I’m not. Because it’s never that easy.

After I moved to Lancaster in the fall of 2007, I got a job, secured an apartment in the city, found the grocery store, and soon made a life for myself. Austin and I took things very slowly. We rarely disagreed on anything and for a long time, I thought we never would. It worried me.

That winter I began to realize that my feelings for him were not developing as quickly as I’d hoped. I first noticed it when it occurred to me that if we broke up, I might not cry. In fact, I might just shrug my shoulders and move on. I then realized it was the reason why I never disagreed with him or spoke of the future, there was no point.

This was a problem.

It took a long time (and by long, I mean a few months) for me to realize that the reason I wasn’t head over heels was because I was still healing. I was healing from years of relationship fails and bad decisions. Not only did I feel guilty, I felt closed. I didn’t want to mess anything or anyone up again. I didn’t want to hurt or get hurt. I didn’t trust myself.

Fast forward through all this Dr. Phil mumbo jumbo to the point where I finally confess how I feel and then say this to him: Don’t tell me you love me until I’m the last girl you ever say it to. I guess I figured this would prolong any serious chatter until I was ready.

It worked.

A year passed and we got to know each other better. I learned he hates Christmas placemats and Queen Latifa. He learned I hate carrots and loud chewing. Seasons changed and so did we. We fought, we made up. We moved, we changed jobs. Most importantly, we fell in love.

And then one day I knew it was time. A few weeks later he proved he did too, though the whole thing was a disaster and he’s still mad about it.

We’d gone away on a week vacation together to York, Maine to celebrate our relationship. It was beautiful and the week had gone by without a hitch until the moment he decided to say those three words we had waited so long to say. Which, in my defense, is why I was so speechless.

In his version of the story, we’re upstairs about to go to bed when he says it and I wait ten minutes to say it back. In my version, it’s about 30 seconds before the I-Love-You return but whatever. Even though I expected it, I was so taken off guard by the build up that I had to catch my breath. I’m sorry. I’m sorry .

A few months later it’s Christmas Eve and I’m opening a jewelry box he made for me and inside is my great grandmother’s engagement ring.

I know it’s not kosher to compare, but I’m going to anyways. I’ve been proposed to thrice, twice I’ve accepted and once I married the dude. This time was different. This time there was no grand gesture or drama or tears. This time I was not deliriously happy in the way you are when you’re 18 and think love means never going to bed angry. Instead, I was happy in the way you are when you’re looking at your future and you know it’s right.

I am not one to gush and neither is Austin, but I will say this: I love him. I love him because he is tall and smart and has dark eyes and tries hard at things. I love him because he is not perfect for me. The first guy was, but I couldn’t handle it. I need to work in a relationship, and there was no work there. Maybe that sounds wrong or weird, but I don’t know how else to explain it.

We got married five months later and finally (finally!) had sex. But more on that later.

To Be Continued in Love Story: Part Three

Leaving Lancaster

Love Story: Part Four

Love Story: Part One

Baby Daddy

Cranberry Almond Crack

8 Comments

Filed under Motley Mama

Tagged as Baby Daddy

ZoeDawn July 29, 2011 at 5:18 pm Oh no. There’s tears in my eyes. I’m going to muss up my company make-up! Can’t wait for more. Reply

Oh no. There’s tears in my eyes. I’m going to muss up my company make-up!

Can’t wait for more.

Shirley July 29, 2011 at 6:11 pm This is SO good. Reply

This is SO good.

Deb July 30, 2011 at 2:34 pm So well written! Reply

So well written!

Ash July 30, 2011 at 2:35 pm Can’t wait for Part Three! Reply

Can’t wait for Part Three!

Sara July 30, 2011 at 2:36 pm Write a book! Reply

Write a book!

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Dara July 25, 2012 at 9:33 pm Love! Also, it was similar with my husband and I–he said he’d never say “I love you” unless it was the girl he was going to marry. It makes it much more meaningful that way. Reply

Love!

Also, it was similar with my husband and I–he said he’d never say “I love you” unless it was the girl he was going to marry. It makes it much more meaningful that way.

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