Love Story: Part One

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I got engaged when I was 18 years old on a cold day in December to a boy I would never marry. He was my high school sweetheart and everything a girl could want; smart, sweet, the kind of guy you elect class president. He took me to the beach and put the ring in a shell. I was shivering and expecting it and very, deliriously happy. It is a good memory.

Three years later we said a final goodbye after a string of very un-final and terrible goodbyes. I had been just awful to him for a very long time. He should have walked away and he did. I was filled with so much regret that I wanted to die. I almost did. It is not a good memory.

I graduated a few months later in the spring of 2007 with a very bad attitude and no direction in life. The realization that I had bills to pay and that I should not have majored in English led to hopelessness and a barrage of more bad decisions. I drank too much, ate too little, and dated people I didn’t actually like. At one point I woke up at 3am underneath my car in a driveway that was not my own and thought, “I need to get it together.”

There are a lot of people who helped contribute to my substantial and fairly quick recovery. I have thanked them many times. I will say, however, that much of my turnaround was due to hitting rock bottom and realizing that if there was going to be a change, I needed to be the one to make it. When it finally happened, I was rewarded surprisingly quickly.

Enter Austin.

I had never seen this guy up close the entire time we were in college. He was a year ahead of me and had dated a friend of mine, but we’d never spoken. Which is why I was so surprised when he sent me a facebook message congratulating me on graduating and telling me that I was the hottest girl in school.

Creepy.

Flash to me reading this creeper message aloud to my housemates and busting up over this ridiculous booty call. Flash to me promising everyone never to write back. Flash to me secretly writing back a few weeks later and continuing a much more intelligent conversation via e-mail over the next 4 months.

I was not ready to start dating again when Austin first contacted me, so we proceeded as casual “online” friends, which was easy because we were in different states. We never spoke on the phone and there was never any mention of romantic intentions. We simply wrote back and forth about our days and the weather and music. It was perfect.

When he finally did ask me on a date, I was cautious but excited. Over the past few months it had become apparent that he was not, in fact, a creeper. He was funny and interesting and smart and I was excited to meet him.

We ended up going to a Format concert in Washington DC with a group of his friends. I changed my outfit ten times before I left. I’m sure the concert was great, though I hardly remember any of it. I can only remember my hands. I never knew were to put my hands.

We slept at his cousin’s house afterwards, in the same room but not in the same bed. This was a surprise. I thought for sure he’d get handsy in the dark. I don’t think we fell asleep until 4 in the morning because we couldn’t stop talking.

When I left in the morning he did not hug me goodbye. It was awkward. I kept wiping my sweaty palms onto my jeans and waiting for some sort of gesture. None came. I drove home feeling shaky and uneasy. Why didn’t he hug me goodbye? Why didn’t he say, “I want to see you again.” Why didn’t he act like a normal human being?!

As soon as I arrived home, I found a short e-mail in my inbox telling me how wonderful I was and how he’d like to see me again soon. The very next day he called and asked me to be his girlfriend. It felt like we were in the fifth grade. It was perfect.

A few months later I packed up my car and moved from Harrisonburg, Virginia to Lancaster, Pennsylvania to continue our relationship. It was weird. I’d never moved for anyone before. The whole drive there my brain was stuck on repeat. Don’t let this be a mistake. Don’t let this be a mistake.

The truth is, I do not believe in soul mates. I do not believe in fairy tales. I did not know from the moment I met Austin that I would marry him and I certainly did not fall in love at first sight. When I moved, it was a risk. I had no job, no friends, and no permanent housing in Lancaster. All I had was a boyfriend unlike any other boyfriend I’d ever had and it finally felt right.

To be continued in Love Story: Part Two

Marrying A Student

Love Story: Part Four

Love Story: Part Two

Happy Anniversaries

Love Story: Part Three

12 Comments

Filed under Motley Mama

Tagged as Baby Daddy

dr perfection July 25, 2011 at 7:53 pm Oh now this is truly interesting material. Reply

Oh now this is truly interesting material.

ZoeDawn July 25, 2011 at 8:10 pm I like this story. Reply

I like this story.

Marisa (and Adam) July 25, 2011 at 9:50 pm Cute story! Love all the new-to-us details:) Reply

Cute story! Love all the new-to-us details:)

Jennifer Jo July 26, 2011 at 6:35 am Eagerly awaiting the next installment… Reply

Eagerly awaiting the next installment…

Sister July 26, 2011 at 1:00 pm I remember when we went shopping for an outfit for you to wear to the concert. We bought a dress that I don’t think you ended up wearing! Reply

I remember when we went shopping for an outfit for you to wear to the concert. We bought a dress that I don’t think you ended up wearing!

Shirley July 27, 2011 at 10:48 am Yes, VELLY interesting. I want to hear more about that car. Reply

Yes, VELLY interesting. I want to hear more about that car.

Shirley July 27, 2011 at 10:49 am I mean the one you were under. Reply

I mean the one you were under.

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Dara July 25, 2012 at 8:37 pm What a great story! *rushes to read part 2 and 3* Reply

What a great story! *rushes to read part 2 and 3*

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