Tag Archives: Birth

A Baby Story (Part 1): Labor and Delivery

The night of my due date was spent waddling downtown for Celebrate Lancaster, an annual event that shuts down a few city streets for food, music, and fireworks. We go every year and always enjoy ourselves. Afterward we came home and watched a movie and ended up going to bed around 1am, unaware that I should have been in bed hours ago to rest up for the road ahead. I was about to fall asleep when I felt my first contraction around 1:30. I waited 2 hours to make sure it wasn’t false labor (again) before I woke up Austin. He jumped out of bed faster than you can say “cheesy-sitcom” and started pacing around, excited and eager to finally have a baby.

Before I go any further, I should say that if you don’t want to know the nitty gritty details of actually having a baby–you may want to skip this post and gaze on these pictures of Baby Waylon instead. Ignorance can be bliss.

My contractions started at about 10 minutes apart and quickly became 5 minutes apart within the first few hours. We called our midwife as instructed and met her at the birthing center around 6am. After a quick check, I was sent home because I was only 2 centimeters dilated. This was disappointing as we’d followed instructions and had waited until contractions had become intense and close together. I labored at home and in the bathtub for several more hours until my contractions were around 3 minutes apart. I kept thinking–oh my gosh, I’m going to have this baby right here on the carpet.

No.

We checked back into the center around 10am with no progress. It had been over 8 hours since labor started and many, many more since I’d had any sleep. We were instructed to walk around the outside of the building to help get things moving.

I did not want to do this.

I said, “I am not doing this.”

But then we did because I was desperate and the nurse was giving me the stink eye. I felt ridiculous walking around outside with my giant ugly gown on, clutching Austin and trying not to swear. At one point I scream-moaned “I can’t do this” while bracing myself against him in the parking lot next to a 16 year old boy who was probably coming to work in the cafeteria. He looked alarmed.

More hours passed and finally I was admitted to a labor and delivery room in the early afternoon. At this point I still felt pretty positive about the situation. I was tired and in a lot of pain, but I felt like things were going to start happening soon.

My sister arrived around this time. She watched as I got into the jacuzzi tub and labored loudly. Hours passed. More hours passed. I was very confused about why things weren’t progressing and why I was having such intense labor for so long. This was not what the book said would happen.

Finally our (wonderful) midwife Barb checked me again. We waited with baited breath thinking I must be close. Gently she broke the news that there was little progress. Three centimeters after 17 hours of labor. I was very worn out.

After some discussion it was decided that she would break my water in hopes that it would stimulate some dilation. At this point I was still confident I was going to have a natural birth. Even though it was really, really painful and awful and I hadn’t slept in over 40 hours–I was doing it and surviving.

Once Barb broke my water (a painless procedure), I had one terrible contraction and then a minute later three terrible, terrible, terrible contractions in a row without pause for breath. I honestly can’t remember the details of it because I started to lose control of myself. Essentially my body was giving up. I started to hyperventilate and my eyes began to roll back in my head. It was…weird. Baby Daddy freaked out a little (a lot). He said — get an epidural now.

Our (wonderful) midwife agreed that it was necessary and called for an emergency epidural, stat. I heard them talking but did not respond. At this point I was still having intense contractions less than 30 seconds apart and could hardly breathe.

A word on epidurals: They are wonderful once the medicine is pumping through your veins, but my experience of actually getting the needle was pretty awful. I almost blew out Austin’s eardrum with all the noise I made. The drugs also made me nauseated and I ralphed over and over until they gave me some meds to feel better. The upside is (obviously) that after twenty minutes, I could finally relax. Austin admits that though he was very against epidurals throughout the pregnancy, his opinion has drastically changed.

Once my body began to go numb and I started to talk in coherent sentences, I invited my family into the room. They looked worried as they’d heard my screams down the hall. This is my most embarrassing moment to date.

Eventually I received a small dose of pitocin, a drug to stimulate dilation, and at 11:40pm, after 23 hours of labor, I announced I was ready to push.

Everyone was ushered out of the room except Austin, a nurse, and (wonderful) Barb. With a lot of encouragement, love, and hard work, I pushed for 40 minutes and at 12:23am, Baby Baer made his way into this world with great gusto.

It was an unforgettable moment, seeing his face for the first time. We cried. Those feelings will stay with me forever; hearing his first cry, realizing he was perfect and healthy, finally holding my son skin to skin.

There were some very, very minor and common complications right at the end. He pooped on the way out (meconium) and needed to be checked by a neonatal doctor right away (he was fine, no infection). The cord was also wrapped twice around his neck, but our (wonderful) midwife was able to unwrap it quickly and he let out a healthy cry soon after. I also tore really badly and lost a lot of blood. Fortunately the drugs prevented me from feeling any of that and I was able to focus on our brand new baby while being stitched back up. I did glance down once to see what was going on in that region, but when I saw our (wonderful) midwife with blood up to her elbows, I quickly looked away.

Everyone says you forget the pain of labor once it’s over and you have your baby. I disagree. I remember. It was not pleasant. Actually, it was awful. Really, really, really awful. We later found out that Baby Baer was positioned in a way that caused hard labor for a long time without dilation. In short, God bless modern medicine.

Many have asked about the labor and delivery and I hope this lengthy post sums it up. I have much more to say, but that’s how it goes with such big experiences. Even though it was a difficult day, it was also a wonderful one with the best ending; a perfect little boy that we cannot stop staring at.

Welcome to the world little one, I can’t imagine life without you.

***

Continued In A Baby Story (Part 2): Coming Home

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Passing Time

As the days continue to drag on without a baby and with a body full of pregnancy malfunctions, distraction seems to be the best medicine. Here are some things I’ve been doing to pass the time.

1) Read Horrifying Things About Labor, Birth, and Postpartum.

Yesterday I was so antsy sitting around at home that I picked myself up and drove over to Barnes and Noble for a “relaxing afternoon” reading magazines in a comfy chair. After skimming O Magazine and getting dizzy with all the ads, I decided to pick up a few books on babies and further educate myself. One book in particular was not shy about dishing on all the grimy details of labor and beyond. I almost passed out while reading up on your first post-birth poo. Ouch.

2) Make Austin Read Horrifying Things About Labor, Birth, and Postpartum.

For the past week I’ve been  incessantly nagging politely asking Austin to get on the horse and read up on what’s about to happen to my body. He’s (finally) obliged and is now well versed in emergency home delivery (he wishes but we will make it there), what to expect during labor, and all the terrors that come along with pushing 7+ pounds out of a very small space. His favorite term is the “the ring of fire,” a nickname for the baby crowning. This is not my favorite term.

Now that he’s got a clue, Baby Daddy is convinced that I can deliver this kid naturally and drug free (with his expert coaching of course). I was hoping for a milder response, but I guess I asked for it.

3) Make More T-shirt Bags.

Oh how I love thee, t-shirt bag. Last week after a tip from Pinterest, Zoe and I scrounged up some t-shirts and each made a bag. We loved it so much that today we crafted a bunch more (I’m trying to convince myself to give some away). Here are my creations:

Instructions and the original post on DIY t-shirt bags found here.

4) Make and Freeze Food For Post Baby.

My freezer is tiny, but I have been able to squeeze in some bite sized portions of leftover foods for post-baby meals. This week I made Austin’s favorite dessert, lovingly named “Lazy Wife Cake,” and threw some in the freezer for the next month.

Recipe found below (it rocks and it is so easy, hence the “lazy” part).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lazy Wife Cake
(Straight from Mama Baer)

Ingredients

2 cups sugar
1 t salt
1/3 cup cocoa
2 t baking soda
3 cups flour
2/3 cup veggie oil
2 T. cider vinegar
2 t vanilla
1 cup water
1 cup cold black coffee or yogurt or another cup of water

Instructions
Mix sugar, salt, cocoa, soda, and flour. Add everything else. Don’t overmix. Pour into a 9×13 pan and bake at 350 for 40-45 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.

Butter Cream Icing

Ingredients

1/2 cup (4 oz) butter, softened
4 cups (about 16 oz) powdered sugar
pinch salt
1 t vanilla
3 – 4 T (1 1/2 – 2 oz) milk

Instructions
Cream butter and 1 cup of sugar. Add remaining sugar, salt, milk, and vanilla. Beat until it’s nice and smooth, adding more milk if necessary to achieve a nice spreading consistency. Can be frozen for later use.

5) Attend Social Events

It’s wedding, graduation, and baby season, so we’ve been plenty busy running around to various parties, showers, and celebrations for family and friends. While these events can be tiring, they are mostly a welcome distraction.


6) Chat With Friends.

Hello Alaska! Thank goodness for Skype. Also thank goodness for other supportive friends and family who have been kind enough to send notes, emails, and encourage me as I anxiously anticipate this wonderful and very stressful change.


7) Clean

I’m not sure if it’s nesting or just general despair about dust that has kicked me into cleaning mode. I find myself wanting to clean the oddest places. The ceiling fan, for example, was really bothering me. Luckily Austin is tall and was able to vacuum it off no problem. If only everything would stay clean (how can two people be this messy?!).

As I grow increasingly uncomfortable and agitated in these last moments of pregnancy, I will continue to try to stay as distracted as possible. Suggestions welcome. A watched pot never boils.

***

 

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The Business of Giving Birth

It’s no secret that delivering a baby scares me. It’s also not very original. Most American women are scared of birth. The day I found out I was expecting Baby Baer I became acutely aware that I will have to go through the fairly disgusting process and have been nauseated every since. You may be one of those who think it’s all very beautiful and miraculous. I disagree. I think the baby is beautiful and miraculous, but the process to finally hold said baby is raw and gory and I don’t particularly want to watch.

This is not at all the perspective I would like to have on the matter. Ideally, I would be eager and excited for this defining womanly moment. Perhaps I’d get a doula, invest in a birthing pool, invite my friends over to watch. Instead I’m clinging to the hope that I will simply make it through without screaming for drugs or clobbering the guy who only had to contribute sperm.

Talking with other moms on the matter has been somewhat of a revelation. As it turns out, ideas about birth are just as controversial as what to do after birth (you know, that thing called parenting). I have been given a lot of advice on how to push out this kid, with most opinions veering sharply off into the drugs-are-your-friend category. And in some ways, I agree. When I have a terrible headache, I take a pill. When I have an allergy attack, I take a pill. Along comes a urinary tract infection and I most certainly take a pill. So why shouldn’t I have some relief when an 8 pound person is clawing his way out of my lady parts?

Upon further research, many women choose to give birth naturally because they love the challenge and find great satisfaction in working hard and “getting the job done.” Others want to avoid anything that might harm their babies or themselves. But the most compelling reason to choose natural childbirth is a universal one. Women inherently know how to give birth without machines and epidurals, so why not?

You may have seen the very popular documentary The Business of Being Born. I’ve now watched it three times. The film compares various childbirth methods including midwives, natural births, epidurals, and Cesarean sections. It also criticizes the American health care system with its emphasis on drugs and costly interventions and its view of childbirth as a medical emergency rather than a natural occurrence. Even the most adamant hospital-going, anti-homebirth mama can agree that our country has put some unhealthy fears about childbirth in our minds. Examples include shows like A Baby Story where the doctor is always “rescuing” some poor, brainless preggo from the grips of death, reinforcing the idea that we can’t do it without medical intervention.

To be clear, I’m not blaming the network TLC for my (maybe) irrational fears of d-day. Fear of the unknown is a very natural human instinct and I also know that a lot of my beef with birth stems from a strained relationship with seeing bodily fluids. Every week or so I pick up one of my baby books and try to read a few paragraphs about things like the mucus plug and the bloody show. It’s not my favorite nighttime reading, but I’m trying to be informed and prepared for what I hope will be a successful, natural birth. Also, it’s sort of fun to gross out Baby Daddy.

For those of you who don’t think I’ll make it, I don’t blame you. For now I remain blissfully ignorant about the pains of contractions and am maintaining the belief that I can certainly handle it. Whatever happens, it won’t matter in the end when the little guy is, excuse the sappy, in our arms.

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Everything and the Kitchen Sink

I may be getting ahead of myself here, but today I was reading about what to bring to the hospital/birthing center and I began to wonder if I should invest in another set of luggage.

Here is the list I started based on the interweb and its plethora of “what-to-bring” advice:

Suggested Packing List

1. Chapstick
2. Lotion
3. Warm socks
4. Food for Austin (because his appetite is my chief concern)
5. Tennis balls
6. Lollipops
7. Every toiletry I’ve ever owned
8. Hand fan
9. iPod
10. All baby supplies and clothes
11. Baby reference book
12. Colored pillows
13. Camera
14. Camera charger
15. Video camera
16. Signed copies of birth plan
17. Filled water bottles
18. Waterproof pads for the ride home (what now?)
19. Loose fitting clothes
20. Wedding photo
21. Massage oils
22. Scented candles
23. Car seat
24. Birth announcements
25. Phone numbers
26. Tub-“if not available at hospital”
27. Books
28. Cash
29. Swimsuits (note the plural)
30. Nail clippers
31. Rolling pin
32. Curling Iron
33. Laxatives
34. …and finally, my personal favorite- A small backpack (so it won’t take up too much room)

How I’m supposed to fit all the baby’s gear and my clothes and a rolling pin and a “tub” into a small backpack is beyond me. Also, am I really going to need most of these things? Somehow I don’t quite believe that a cherry blossom candle and a picture of myself looking thin will do much to soothe the horrors of birth.

Within this conversation of what to bring to the hospital comes the discussion of the increasingly popular “birth song.” Rumor has it that I need to pick the perfect song to play as I expel 8 pounds of squirmy baby from my lady parts.

I mentioned this to Austin last night and he thought a birth song might be a little unrealistic. Even so, I did pick a song even though I’m fairly certain I will not need or want to listen to any music while in actual labor. You can listen to it here, and by listen I mean listen—not watch the odd video someone decided to make with this song in the background (If you have it in your own iTunes, it’s Rogue Wave’s song, “Eyes”).

Speaking of songs and babies, I’ve started a playlist of songs that are appropriate for Baby Baer’s ears including multiple instrumentals by favorites such as Craig Armstrong and James Newton Howard mixed with lullabyish songs by Eva Cassidy (a favorite) and Jewel. I don’t know if he/she can hear these songs in utero, but I feel soothed.

Anyways, I’m not sure what I will drag along come D-Day. I just know what I want to drag back. Suggestions very welcome, I have about 4 months to pack.

***

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