Blog Anniversary: 2 Years

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Two years ago today I was 30 weeks pregnant, recently unemployed, and very, very confused about blogging.

I thought that if I simply wrote a few things down, posted a youtube video, or made a half-hearted joke on the Internet–people would read it. I didn’t realize that blogging took work. Real, sit down, don’t get distracted by Facebook, honest to God work.

I’ve written about blogging before and what it means to me. Last year I wrote about finding my voice and transitioning from blogger to writer. Not much has changed. If anything, I’ve grown more apathetic to the side of blogging culture that pushes you into doing things you don’t want to do. As always, I’d like to thank my blogging spirit guide Elizabeth for showing me what real blogging is. That girl gets shit done.

If I have any words of advice on the whole Internet business, it’s this: put out what you want to get back. Do you love reading classy fashion posts? Then do classy fashion posts. Do you love hilarious cat memes? Then go buy a tiny top hat and get to work.

Don’t fake it. Don’t write things you wouldn’t want to read. Don’t pretend you don’t care about numbers but then really, really care about numbers. Be yourself. Be original. Don’t expect to get paid.

I love this blog. I love it despite its terrible title and lack of fancy graphic design. I love it because of you, because when I pour out my heart or post a ridiculous picture of Queen Elizabeth, you show up. You read, you comment, you engage, you make me a better writer. Even if you’re one of those who quietly reads behind your work computer or in the middle of a night during another feeding–you’re showing up too.

Thank you.

This blog, these words, those pictures of Queen Elizabeth–they are my love letter to you.

Cheers to another year.

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On Risk

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Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can’t help but smile on it.  - Josh Billings

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I remember the conversation clearly.

We were sitting in his basement apartment, only weeks from the wedding, and we were scared. We were scared of what happens to love, to marriage, to a person after too many years of cereal slurping and bed sharing.

I asked him, “Would you ever cheat on me?”

Austin was quiet. He knew it was suspicious to answer too quickly. He knew it was okay to be honest.

“I hope not,” he said grimly.

Today is Austin’s birthday. Last year I wrote a little post on the 28 reasons why I love him. It was nice.

Today I was thinking about number 29. I was thinking about how there are relationships where you are honest and then relationships where you are honest. I was thinking I’m glad to have the latter.

Last week we talked about things we’d never do. Of course we’d all love to say we’d never cheat or lie or steal or drive to McDonalds at 2am just to get french fries–but humans are flawed and, I believe, capable of anything. 

I watch some couples in love and just pray their storms aren’t too strong because fairy tales have a shelf life and as history has taught us, time has a habit of wearing on promises. All those nevers and always start to look daunting in the light of day. The whole business is an indeterminable risk.

The thing about love is that after the endorphins wear off, it’s really about showing up. It’s about showing up every day and trying not to fail. It’s about putting your best foot forward, and when that doesn’t happen—hoping your other has enough grace left to say “it’s okay.” It’s about recognizing that we’re all capable of great lightness and great darkness, and figuring out how to navigate the light.

Happy Birthday to someone who keeps showing up, finding my light, and loving me one day at a time.

We persevere.

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Top Ten Things Not To Say To Moms (Part 2)

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Continued from Top Ten Things Not To Say To New Moms

Motherhood is weird. Not only do you acquire things like cracked nipples and external hemorrhoids, you also open yourself up to a world of comments. Comments on your health, comments on your baby’s health, comments on who should and should not be wearing miniature socks in 75 degree weather.

For some reason, when a woman transitions to the role of mother, it becomes normal and necessary for her neighbor or grocery bagger to have a comment. It is strange.

Most comments are harmless, but if you pay attention to the sighs and eye rolls behind the scenes, you’ll notice a pattern of tiredness when it comes to comments. No one wants to be talked down to. No one wants to hear that things will get harder. No one wants to hear your opinion on how long it’s okay to have a pacifier

In an effort to save you from shaming your niece or sister or new mom friend Samantha, here are the top ten things not to say.

As always, I’m just as guilty.

If I made a Top Ten list of things you should say to moms, every number would all be the same: You’re doing a great job.  

Happy Tuesday.

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1) That outfit is so flattering on you.

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Translation: That black shirt and pants really hides your love handles.

2) You look like such a mom.

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Translation: Sorry you have a mom haircut.

3) Do you work?

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Translation: Do you do anything besides facebook?

4) Just wait until you have two/three/four of them!

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Translation: You have it so easy…FOR NOW.

5) You’ll never read a book again. Or travel. Or shower!

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Translation: YOU WILL BE AS MISERABLE AS ME.

6) You have your hands full!

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Translation: You look tired.

7) Think you’ll try for your girl/boy?

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Translation: You cannot possibly be satisfied with just boys/girls.

8) You’re still breastfeeding?

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Translation: It’s getting weird.

9)  What do you do with all that free time?

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Translation: Sorry your life is so easy.

10) I could never stay home with my kids/work away from my kids.

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Translation: I am better than you.

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What are you tired of hearing?

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Friday Snacks {4.12.13}

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Recently Meeting

Kid President Meets Real President

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(Thanks Dad)

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|2|

Recently On Instagram

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|3|

Recently On Repeat

The National

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|4|

Recently Favorites

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this kid’s book

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this truth

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this recipe

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|5|

Recently Pinned

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Via Hannah

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Recently A Trailer

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Recently Outrageous

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Believe or not, Wilcox County High School in Rochelle, Georgia still has segregated dances for white and black students. When a bi-racial student attempted to walk into the white prom last year, police turned them away at the entrance. Read more about it here.

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Recently In The Blogosphere

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Stretch Your Vocabulary by Jo.

A Message to Women From a Man: You Are Not “Crazy” by Yashar.
(Thanks Suz)

Unequally Yoked by Addie.

An Open Letter To My Church  
(Thanks Katie)
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Recently Remembered

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Top Ten Best Parenting Advice

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And finally, our Friday Funnies from the Internets

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Dogs Wearing Pantyhose

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Reasons My Son Is Crying

(Thanks everyone who sent this to me)

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Thug Kitchen
[Warning: Language]

(Thanks Sash)

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Two 90 Year Olds Run The 100 Meter Dash

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(Thanks Kenton)

Happy Friday.

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On Poetry

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Poetry is the art of uniting pleasure with truth.  -Samuel Johnson

Poetry catches a lot of slack in this modern literary world of vampires and hunger games (guilty on the latter). It’s either dubbed too emotional, too hard to read, or just plain boring. Austin likes to joke that anyone can be a poet, anything a poem—which is ironically poetic itself, although he’d never admit it because he is a skeptic and usually in a bad mood (medical school).

I love poetry. It is a religion for me; beautiful, sacred, a holy place of words and broken sentences. Vertical magic.

A few of my favorite poems below, including one I wrote long ago for a 7pm poetry class with the scariest professor I’ve ever met. I saw her smile only once.

Authors (in order): Mary Oliver, Mary Oliver, Margaret Atwood, Hafiz, Margaret Atwood.

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 The Journey

 
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice–
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do–
determined to save
the only life you could save.

 

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Wild Geese
 
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
 
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Habitation

Marriage is not
a house or even a tent

it is before that, and colder:

The edge of the forest, the edge
of the desert
the unpainted stairs
at the back where we squat
outside, eating popcorn

where painfully and with wonder
at having survived even
this far

we are learning to make fire

 

*

Untitled

Even
After
All this time
The Sun never says to the Earth,
“You owe me.”

Look
What happens
With a love like that,
It lights the whole sky.

 

*

Against Still Life

Orange in the middle of a table:It isn’t enough
to walk around it
at a distance, saying
it’s an orange:
nothing to do
with us, nothing
else: leave it aloneI want to pick it up
in my hand
I want to peel the
skin off; I want
more to be said to me
than just Orange:
want to be told
everything it has to say
And you, sitting across
the table, at a distance, with
your smile contained, and like the orange
in the sun: silent:Your silence
isn’t enough for me
now, no matter with what
contentment you fold
your hands together; I want
anything you can say
in the sunlight:
stories of your various
childhoods, aimless journeyings,
your loves; your articulate
skeleton; your posturings; your lies.
These orange silences
(sunlight and hidden smile)
make me want to
wrench you into saying;
now I’d crack your skull
like a walnut, split it like a pumpkin
to make you talk, or get
a look inside. But quietly:
if I take the orange
with care enough and hold it
gentlyI may find
an egg
a sun
an orange moon
perhaps a skull; center
of all energy
resting in my handcan change it to
whatever I desire
it to beand you, man, orange afternoon
lover, wherever
you sit across from me
(tables, trains, buses)if I watch
quietly enough
and long enoughat last, you will say
(maybe without speaking)

(there are mountains
inside your skull
garden and chaos, ocean
and hurricane; certain
corners of rooms, portraits
of great grandmothers, curtains
of a particular shade;
your deserts; your private
dinosaurs; the first
woman)

all I need to know
tell me
everything
just as it was
from the beginning.

 

*

Untitled

We’re stuck, suffocating.
Gasping and clawing
searching for air 
in the cruel metal box.
Screaming for the clown man to stop.
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Our limbs tossed like salad
bang and bruise,
bust and bumble,
a montage of arms and legs.
I can’t breathe.
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As the oldest, I try to console her,
it must end soon. Surely—
the wheels will slow, stop, turn us right side up,
outside in, back to little girls.
Here,
just hold on to me and stare through the
paint chipped
mud caked
rubbed raw
cracks
And focus instead on the
cotton candy
caramel apple
love sick
mouths.
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And there, grandma!
Waving like a loon,
ice-cream on her chin,
watching her babies
being murdered by the round metal snake.
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Leave your favorite poems or poets in the comments below. 

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