Category Archives: Archives

March 30, 2011

Meet Aunt Kelly

If you know me, you know my sister. Not only do I talk about her all the time, but we’re fairly similar and look exactly alike without looking anything alike.

Kelly is great because we share so many things; childhood memories, favorite foods, favorite movies, pet peeves, and ridiculous reasons to laugh are just a few. If I can count on anyone, I can count on her to understand how I’m feeling and why I’m feeling it. My current emotional, sappy self prevents me from saying too much more without turning into mush, so I’ll just say this: She rocks.

To continue my brief 10 Question Interviews with favorites like Baby Daddy, Auntie Zoe, and Grandma and Grandpa Baker, here are Aunt Kelly’s answers to 10 questions regarding our spring arrival. Thanks Sister.

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Dear Aunt Kelly,

1. What was your first reaction when you heard about Baby Baer?

I couldn’t believe it! I was mad at first that I was at work when I got the news and couldn’t properly scream in happiness. I was also extremely honored to be the first to find out other than baby daddy.

2. Do you think your sister is even moderately prepared to give birth?

Probs not, but I plan on being there to advise as necessary. Austin and I may have to pow-wow before hand to have a game plan. As long as well all have our K.B.B.’s* we’re good.

*Katie Birth Bag

3. Are you excited to be an aunt?

Not enough words to describe my excitement. I will be the favorite aunt, hands down.

4. Any special thoughts about having a nephew in particular?

I will encourage him to explore other areas of interest other than hunting which his papa and favorite uncle will over emphasize.

5. What am I possibly going to do with a boy? We played house and school all day.

Hmm…I would read up on Cowboys and Indians.

6. I have this reoccurring dream that I give birth to a sick kitten and don’t want it anymore. What does this mean?

You don’t want your baby to have as many medical issues as you have had in the past. But he won’t, so stop subconsciously thinking about it.

7. Any predictions about the arrival of Baby Baer?

Nope. Like dad said, he will come on his own time. I bet he’ll be just as stubborn as both his parents.

8. What do you think he’ll be like when he’s older? I have no idea.

Kind. Quirky. Hilarious. Insightful. Musically talented. One of the best kids I’ll ever know.

9. Any word on future cousins for him to play with?

;)

10. What is your greatest wish for Baby Baer?

This is a hard one…I wish that he speaks honestly, dreams wildly, and loves unconditionally. I wish him everything and more.

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March 27, 2011

Grandma and Grandpa Baker

A few weeks ago I asked Baby Daddy for some Brief Fatherly Input with success and so I decided to ask (soon to be) first time grandparents Dave and Melanie Baker for some input as well. I sent them a list of 10 questions, here are their responses. Thanks Mom and Dad!

Dear Grandparents-to-be,

1. How old were you when you had your first kid? Math is hard.

DB: 25 I think.

MB: You were born in 1985 – I was 24.

2. What’s the best part about having kids?

DB: They get things for you so you don’t have to leave your easy chair. Also, they are an extension of who you are…so it’s wonderful to see them develop into their own person.

MB: I love all the parts about having your own family and creating a history together like Christmas mornings, birthday parties, new kittens, snuggles and hugs, butterfly kisses and someone calling you “mommy.”

3. Are you excited to be grandparents?

DB: Yes and no.

MB: Completely psyched out of my mind.

4. Any special thoughts about having a grandson in particular?

DB: He will be a hunter and will be able to pee in places most girls cannot.

MB: Even more hunting talk to come … sigh…

5. What are you most looking forward to?

DB: Reading him scary books and telling him what his mother did when she was a baby.

MB: Baby breath and little bitty toes.

6. Any predictions about the arrival of Baby Baer?

DB: None….he will come when he is ready.

MB: If he’s anything like his mother, it will be dramatic.

7. Is labor really that terrible?

DB: I haven’t a clue. It looks and sounds quite painful to me. Excuse me…I am getting sick and need to sit down now.

MB: Yup.

8. Any helpful suggestions for new parents?

DB: Love him with all your being and raise him to love God with all his heart, mind and soul.

MB: Amen! And let him be his own person even if he hates hunting and sports.

9. Any helpful name suggestions?

DB: Thaddeus Paul

MB: Quentin Austin Baer

10. What is your greatest wish for Baby Baer?

DB: That he would be the splitting image of his grand pappy.

MB: That he loves God, his family, and his vocation (and in that order).

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March 24, 2011

Spring Forward

It is drear city here in Lancaster, Pennsylvania as the days of March plague us with unsuspecting bouts of wind and cold and rain. It’s not my favorite, but I have hope that spring is around the corner. I find myself searching for signs of new life everywhere I go; traipsing up to the Baer barn to look for kittens, checking the goats’ bellies for signs of labor, walking by the park and looking for daffodils. Can you hear the cheesy Disney music playing behind me? I can.

Spring means fresh starts and fresh starts are something I’ve long been addicted to. This isn’t necessarily a good thing; reinventing oneself becomes increasingly ineffective if you’re doing it every few years…or months. I did it here, and then here and (oh my) again here. I suppose it’s easier to start fresh than admit and accept your shortcomings. What’s funny is that as much as we reinvent, most often we end up right back where we began. Our best hope is that we’ve tweaked our habits enough to walk a little lighter and inspire hope for more change.

This spring I’m focusing less on fresh starts and more on living in the present. The next few years are going to be hard. Hopefully not “my house was just washed away by a tidal wave hard,” but I’m sure it will be daily struggle to stay positive. Having a child or having your spouse go to medical school are not death sentences in themselves, but the combination is something I’m trying to be realistic about.

Living presently simply takes the pressure off tomorrow. But what does it look like? Most of it has to do with mind control. How many times are we experiencing something great, as in “This is such a great cookie!” or “I’m in Paris!”, and in the same breath looked ahead and cried, “I will run out of cookies!” or “I need to come back here!” What I need to remind myself is that I am in Paris and I’m eating a fabulous cookie and need to enjoy it!

Obviously this is impossible all the time, but it’s a mantra that’s worth repeating even if it only helps in a small way. If only we could somehow come up with a magic combination for living in the moment. For one thing, it would make aging much easier. Next week I head into my “late twenties” as my sister likes to remind me, not something I’m necessarily celebrating. I haven’t done enough, seen enough, grown enough–right? Or maybe I have and I’m not appreciating it. Regardless, I’m sure I should have spent less time looking forward and backward.

So maybe I am reinventing myself by trying to live in the present, but isn’t that what spring accidentally does? Perhaps you’re doing it too. Most of us have lived through at least a few decades of springs, and yet this season hits us each year with an unexpected excitement and revival of life. Science could not come up with a better serum for inspiring change. Carpe Diem.

It’s spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you’ve got it, you want – oh, you don’t quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so! -Mark Twain

Ask Kate

When I was asked to do an advice column five years ago for the university newspaper, I eagerly took the job in hopes of becoming the wisest twenty-year old on campus that everyone asks “What do I do?” The gig lasted a few semesters, but it was certainly nothing to brag about. As it turns out, I don’t know much about anything.

Advice is a tricky thing. In my circle of friends, we are continually asking each other for guidance on everything from sex to mortgage rates to vegetable oil substitutes. But what happens when advice comes unsolicited?

As a parent-to-be, I often find myself gawking at other families and thinking (or worse, saying!), “I will never do that” and wishing I could give them some parenting advice. In my head I know that every child and parent and family is unique and has a singular set of circumstances to deal with, and yet when I see a child throwing rocks at his mom in the parking lot or (on the other spectrum) hearing about “tiger mothers” punishing their children with hot sauce, my insides shout, “what are you THINKING?” The problem is, not only is that sort of judgmental persona unattractive, it’s also quite dangerous. I have never been a parent nor have I walked in their shoes and experienced what they have experienced. In short, it’s not my place.

Recently an acquaintance offered me some advice on parenting that started out with a lot of “nevers” “always” and “you shouldn’ts.” After that conversation, I realized what I sound like (even if the thoughts are often just in my head). It’s not nice or helpful.

There is an art to giving advice, most of which is in the delivery. Giving advice should sound a lot like a waiter in a fine restaurant who holds out a dessert tray and says, “Here, if you wish,” and the diner takes what is right for them. By not insisting, we increase the chances of our words being considered. When it comes to delicate issues like parenting, there’s a fine line to walk between what is helpful and what is hurtful. Most of the time it’s better to butt out and wait for an opportunity to listen.

Last night as I was reading over my old Ask Kate columns and laughing at my weak advice on dating and post-grad plans, I realized that the best advice givers in my life always do so without any hints of smugness or agenda. Like the waiter in the restaurant, they offer their opinions so casually it feels more like a discussion than advice. And that’s how it should be, because the truth is most people who ask for advice already know what they’re going to do–they just need someone to hash it out with.

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June 3, 2010

Top 30 Book Recommendations

As an English major, people often ask me about two things: book recommendations and spelling questions. One makes me feel very flattered and the other makes me very anxious. Never have I ever been able to properly spell definitely.

But (If you care) (Since you asked) (Because who doesn’t love lists?) here are my top 30 recommendations in no particular order.

Happy reading.
Happy summer.

1. Oryx and Crake, Margaret Atwood

2. Belong to Me, Marisa de los Santos

3. The Accidental Tourist, Anne Tyler

4. The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

5. In the Time of the Butterflies, Julia Alvarez

6. The Glass Castle, Jeannette Walls

7. A Girl Named Zippy, Haven Kimmel

8. Running with Scissors, Augusten Burroughs

9. The Help, Kathryn Stockett

10. Of Mice and Men, John Steinbeck