Waylon had surgery yesterday for what is commonly known as a “tongue tie” or ankyloglossia. It was something he was born with but had remained undetected until he was over a year old. We chose to have the surgery now because we were told that a) it’s no big deal and b) he is young enough that he won’t remember it later.
The thing about surgery being “no big deal” is that it’s always a big deal when it’s your toddler-baby being gassed and butchered by a meaty handed surgeon wearing crocs. It’s also really inconvenient.
For example: we left the house at 8am only to end up waiting until noon for surgery to actually begin. This meant four whole hours of distracting a whiny toddler who hadn’t eaten or drank since we stuffed him full of pasta the night before. Apparently operating rooms are always running behind. Who knew? (Austin) (I didn’t believe him).
The nurses were helpful. They brought out bubbles and coloring books and puzzles to help pass the time. Waylon was excited about BUBBLES because toddlers love BUBBLES like hipsters love juicing. At one point the entire room stood around to watch Austin blow bubbles while his son had mini panic attacks trying to destroy them. It was exhausting.
Nurse: “He’s never going to wake up after he goes to sleep!”
Me: THIS IS MY NIGHTMARE, WOMAN
Three bubble containers later, the docs came in and ordered pre-meds which is just a fancy way of saying they were going to make my kid drunk enough to carry away without him slitting their throats. It only took one tiny syringe of pink goo and Waylon turned into a college girl at her first party. Silly, slurry, and incredibly clingy. When he finally collapsed into my lap, he just sat staring straight ahead with a quiet grin on his face.
Austin: Look at him! He’s so cute.
Me: THIS IS THE LAST TIME I’LL EVER HOLD HIM!!!
Everyone says this about kids and surgery and it’s true: the moment you hand over your child to the doctor is the worst. My heart sank and my instincts told me to just take the drunk boy and run. It wasn’t the actual procedure that scared me, but the anesthesia. My mind raced to all the stories I’d read about allergic reactions and unexplained complications. The doctor said, “We’ll take good care of him,” but I could only smell his head and cry. It was hard.
And then we got cafeteria sushi and a frappuccino!
It was over in less than an hour. They found us in the waiting room.
Doctor: “Well, it’s over…”
Me: WHAT IS OVER? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? WHY ARE YOU MAKING A FACE?
We heard him before we saw him, held down by two nurses and screaming like a bobcat. They had warned us that some kids wake up very unhappy, but I’d survived colic so I wasn’t worried. Unfortunately bloody kids screaming in pain and hospital smells are two of my vasovagal triggers (fainting) so I had to leave the room to sit on the toilet and practice breathing. When I returned to the recovery room, Waylon was still writhing and screaming and Austin was still flustered and sweating.
All in all, it wasn’t great.
When we finally brought him home, our little survivor collapsed, slept for three hours, and then woke up to pudding cups and special sorry-we-cut-your-tongue bath crayons. He was pleased.
It was a long day, but we are glad our tongue troubles are behind us. Waylon is fine and we are fine. Everyone is just fine. Nobody died or lost control of their bowels or shouted at any innocent medical staff. I didn’t call Austin a jagweed when he mentioned I could maybe relax and he didn’t flinch when the nurses told him things he already knew.
If I have any advice about kids and surgery, it’s this: Xanax. Next time, definitely Xanax. And maybe a shot of whiskey. My mama heart is simply too fragile.
***
I feel dumb b/c I said on your IG that I didn’t know what was going on, and I lied. I remembered reading about this. Just reading this made me sweat bullets. You did so good. Glad he is a-ok.
It’s okay. It’s hard to remember everything on the Internets!
You are all survivors. Drew and I nearly cried the night before as I was telling him that he was having surgery and saying something like “I just keep thinking about Kate having to give Waylon to the surgeon.” :( I am so glad that you are all on the other side of this and that he is recovering well with pudding and crayons. :)
Also – I almost passed out in a hospital once. It was the smell.
One the way in, we passed a mama holding her baby boy–head shaved because of chemo.
My heart.
I thought about her all day. Bless those mamas who have to face that every single morning. They are the warriors.
I would’ve totally died too. This is me: Me: THIS IS THE LAST TIME I’LL EVER HOLD HIM
Yep. Pretty much.
I also sort of laughed because despite this being incredibly traumatic, you are hilarious.
Thanks B.
I’m glad no one got bitch-slapped.
Miracle.
You are a survivor! Hospitals with your wee one are the worst. Gray fell off the bed and fractured his skull at 5 months. He had a sort-of-drowsy-from-Bendaryl-but-not-nearly-enough MRI while I stood outside the door wailing just as loud, if not louder than him. The worst.
But you’re right, the real warriors are the ones who are there every day. Gray had to spend the night in the PICU just for observation and he shared a room with two babies, one with cystic fibrosis and one that had cancer. That shut me up real quick. The tired mamas curled up in the chairs next to the hospital beds, holding their little ones hands and calling nurses throughout the night. I can’t. I cry thinking about it.
Thank God for healthy babies…and whiskey. Hope that untied tongue doesn’t give you too much toddler sass today :)
I can’t. I just can’t even think about it. Thank God for healthy babies AMEN.
Aww you poor thing, seeing your child in pain is the worst. I probably would have been close to passing out as well. Glad you all survived.
Thanks shannon!
I had this surgery as an adult and it was NO FUN AT ALL. Weeks of speaking funny and pain. My son was diagnosed in his first infant check at the hospital and had the little thing a ma jig clipped at day 2. No pain, no memory, no problem with nursing! Glad you were able to get this diagnosed and treated before he started having real symptoms (speech issues.)
LEAH. THANK YOU. I feel so affirmed! I was so close to canceling the surgery since they couldn’t guarantee any speech problems. Sorry it was so difficult for you! I’m glad your son was able to have it done right away. No anesthesia!
So glad everyone is doing well:-) Proud of you Kate, that is a hard one to handle. Thank god for my parents when Luke had surgery at 6weeks! And to think the nurse said projectile vommitting was normal and a bucket amount was ok! Love this page:)
This is Kelly I :))
Kell, I can’t even imagine how worried you were. Little 6 week old Luke. Bless his heart.
You did so well. Brought back memories of when our son was in the hospital with pneumonia when he was 18 months old. He stayed over Easter weekend and my husband and I stayed by his side. We both slept on one cot–no way we were leaving…
One of the worst moments of my life was when he was first admitted and they were trying to put in his I.V. A dear young nurse was trying valiantly to get the needle in his hand, but it was clear that she didn’t have much experience. My normally calm, quiet son screamed bloody murder, writhed all over the table, and called out, “Mama, mama.” I almost fainted myself and my husband, my rock, said kindly but firmly to me, “Wait in the hallway. I will come and get you when this is done.” Reluctantly, but with relief, I went out to the hallway on my wobbly legs. Within 3 minutes, I heard my son stop crying and my husband came to get me. Later, hubby told me that once I was out in the hallway, he said to the nurses in the room, “I know that she is trying really hard to get the I.V. in. But, now you need to switch to someone who is able to get it done right away.” I have always felt a little sorry for that nurse, but also so thankful for my husband, who said, “Enough is enough.”
So glad for you all that Waylon’s surgery is over and you are home.
Way to go Anonymous Husband. I know I would have never been able to tell a nurse that myself either, afraid I’d hurt her young nurse feelings. Glad your guy was able to take care of you and your little man that way.
That poor nurse. But yes. Enough is enough. Thank the good Lord for co-parenting.
I am crying reading this. My six month old son is going in for surgery (undescended testicle) at the end of the month and I am a nervous wreck. I cannot take it, and it is still weeks away. Surgeon said, “This is very routine. I have performed over 3000 of these.” Yes, but not on MY baby! The thought of handing my baby over to a surgeon and lying helpless on an operating table – shudder. It keeps me up at night.
Oh my heart. It WILL be hard, but you WILL do it and he will be okay. So, so routine and I made sure to ask about “what happens if something goes wrong.” A very kind nurse reassured me that they have everything right there if something goes wrong. And their little bodies are hooked up to all the right monitors to track even the littlest skip in heartbeat. You can do it! Also, xanax! And a support team. Thinking of you!
Oh man, scary stuff. That’s what scares me most about having kids is the potential health problems they might face. My little guy has to be circumcised tomorrow and I’m a little nervous. I take comfort in the fact that his pediatrician is the most gentle kind man I have ever met and would never treat him harshly. Still, scared.
Even good and highly protective Mama Bears need a Xanax once in a while.
I second Candis: you are all survivors! Good job Mama! And good job Waylon! Austin, too.
Also, I’ve heard the sushi in the cafeteria is good. How was it?
It’s actually really, really good. They have great food there!
Nati had surgery when he was 13 months. He was HILARIOUS on the pre-meds. He was still awake when they took him away (but drunk-happy). They had a cart made up for him, but the anesthesiologist held him in her arms instead, and that made me trust her more. So glad Waylon is doing well. Hopefully you can get a chance to recharge now.
We weren’t going to do the pre-meds, and then we realized it would be MUCH easier to send him off drunk happy than screaming and clinging. Good decision.
Surgery is only “no big deal” and “routine” when it’s happening to someone else. My oldest got tubes in his ears when he was 14 months old. He woke up flailing and screaming from the anesthesia. Worst.moment.of.my life!! Glad you guys are on the other side of this!
It’s so intense! Kind of like they are having a seizure. Not great.
I hope you guys have a good night tonight. Love from the Nissleys. XOXO
Isn’t it amazing how these little bundles, these gifts from God, totally consume our hearts? Funny, though, it doesn’t diminish even as they “toddle” off to college, first jobs, etc. My son survived testicular cancer recently at the ripe old age of 30. I was a mess when his hair fell out during chemo. An absolute, certifiable, bawl-baby all day – not around him, of course. Kids really crawl into our hearts and live their forever. Praise the Lord for His Plan!
I laughed so hard over this post. SO hard.
I did laugh at your post, because every single word is true! I freaked the hell out when my little guy had surgery. You did good mama, very good. Glad everyone is fine :)
So glad little Waylon is doing well! He is honestly one of the cutest toddlers I’ve seen.
I firmly believe there is nothing worse than seeing your little one in discomfort and pain. You are one brave mama!! Stay strong!
Glad to hear things went as well as they could have. Hopefully he never has to have surgery again. Momma’s can’t handle that more than once.
So glad you all made it through okay. That Waylon is safe and healthy, that everything with his surgery went as planned, that Austin could be there so that you could go breathe in the bathroom, and that you left with your dignity intact.
I was glad yesterday that when the doctor came to take Max away, Max didn’t look back at me because I think I would have lost it. And I was glad that someone told me that they would hold him and rock him until the anesthesia was working. Because, my baby.
Tears.
Bubbles! “Kids go ape S*** over bubbles” -Knocked Up
Glad your lil man did so well and it’s all behind you now
Oh, this brought back memories. My baby had hernia surgery at 8 weeks and I just about lost my mind. Seeing his tiny arm with an IV stuck in it was the worst. Our momma hearts ARE fragile, but they’re brave too. Glad your little man is okay!
I just also need to tell you that I am tongue tied – I am 25, my mom never got it done, I kind of wish .. no I really wish she had gotten it done. Glad he’s ok…
Oh Jenna! I’m sorry to hear that. But also relieved we made the right choice. Thank you for sharing!