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Recently In The Mail
A package arrived yesterday with the following address label:
One of my dear readers, Megan, sent Waylon a present in the mail. A present he immediately loved and refused to take off.
The yellow boots have officially been replaced.
Thanks, M!
PS: I had a good laugh over my new last name.
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Recently On Instagram
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Recently Sleepy
I don’t know anything cuter than sleepy, spaghetti eating twins.
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Recently Overheard
Me: What can I do to make the mail lady like me?
Austin: You could leave her a five piece.
Me: A what?
Austin: A five piece.
Me: What? What are you saying?
Austin: A FIVE PIECE.
Me: Why are you talking like you’re in Britain?
Austin: I don’t know what you want me to say.
Me: If I bake her something, will she think I put anthrax in it?
Austin: I don’t know, maybe you should leave her a note.
Me: Telling her about anthrax?
Austin: Yeah. Just say, “Would you take something if I baked it?”
Me: That sounds really weird.
Austin: Google the protocol for giving mail persons food.
Me: I’m not sure. She might knock on the door.
Austin: That’s perfect.
Me: I think I’d rather her just not like me.
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Recently Moved
Same Love by Macklemore, featuring Mary Lambert
(Thanks Meagan)
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Recently October
Halloween is coming up.
Will you be a hipster parent?
(They just want to be Elmo).
(Source)
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Recently Exclaiming
A Plea For Self-Control Regarding The Exclamation Point
“No one is actually as consistently excitable as their exclamation mark usage suggests, but there will come a time when a person is attempting to convey true, unadulterated joy (“She said yes!” or “It’s a boy!” or “I won one of those raffles to have dinner with Barack and Michelle!”) and to me, because of the person’s unfortunate exclamation track record, it’ll read the same as “I overslept so hard last night!!!!” or “Hey!” or simply ‘!!!!!!!!’” Read the rest HERE!!!!!!!!!
(Thanks Melissa)
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Recently Seinfeld
Have you seen Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee?
It’s a scream, especially if you love Jerry. And who doesn’t love Jerry?
Watch full episodes HERE.
(Thanks Dad)
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Recently Remembered
Some Thoughts On Discipline (Updated)
What To Expect When Not Expecting
&
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And finally, our Friday Funny from the Internets
Lipreading strikes again.
l
Happy Friday
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Do you have a Friday funny or interesting article to share?
Submit your snacks to kate@motleymama.com
What? I LOVE!!!! exclamation points! I wanted to talk about them at work!!!! I wanted to ask people what their favorite punctuation was!!! But someone else did not!!!! can you believe that?!!!!!!!!
That is crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL! The conversation about the mail lady is hilarious. Love it!
I want to find something between the period and exclamation mark. like when someone asks you to go out for a drink. “Sure.” looks underwhelmed and rude, and “Sure!” is overeager. I struggle with it all the time! (<- actual need for an exclamation point).
Totally agree. Maybe we could just commandeer the semicolon? Most people don’t know how to use that anyway.
I love the semicolon.
I also struggle with the exclamation point. We need something in between.
what the HECK was austin talking about?? what is a 5 piece? I have to know.
why do you think you’re mail lady doesn’t like you? in college (the first one, which was bloomsburg) i had a mailman steal all my bday cards. people kept saying “did you get my card” and i thought they were lying about sending one. then months later i got an official notification that the mailman was on trial and my mail was received. so, that is just some context. she could be stealing your mail if she really didn’t like you.
please do not leave me hanging on what a 5 piece is. i won’t be able to take it.
I just googled it, it means five dollars in “urban slang.” I guess I was unaware of Austin’s former life on the streets.
Here is some of the evidence I’ve been collecting that suggests the mail lady is not fond of me:
1) Not taking or delivering our mail on non-holidays.
2) Stomping up on the porch and looking in our windows.
3) Throwing our packages up on the porch instead of setting them down.
4) Not smiling when I smile at her when we pass on the street.
Maybe I should just give her the five piece.
Suz, I have no idea what a 5 piece is.
The actual conversation went something like this:
Me: “Maybe you should give her a 10 spot.”
Kate: (after a brief pause) “What?”
Me: (after another brief pause) “What? I said give her a 10 spot. Or clothespin a fiver to the mailbox.”
Kate: “Why are you talking like you were born in the 1020′s?”
So, “10 spot” and “fiver” (two very acceptable slang terms for common currency) ended up being translated into “5 piece.”
I have no recollection of this conversation.
This is awesome! :)
This entire conversation is amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the anthrax convo is hilarious. I’m not sure our mail person is the hugest fan of us either. and the lip reading… Steve and I have watched the “more mitt” one too many times and then are stuck with the “tap it tap it in that’s a zinger” song in our heads all day which is just embarrassing.
Mail lady, if you are reading this…know that I just want to be friends. Friends who never speak but don’t hold secret grudges against each other. Friends who deliver each other’s mail. (Well, that part is a little one sided).
I cannot get enough lip reading.
Your conversation about feeding the mail lady made my day… I can picture my husband and I having just such a discussion. :) Thanks for sharing the humor. (I tried very hard to not use exclamation points here… my mom is the queen of them. Literally, every single sentence ends in 5 or 6 so I am trying to bring it into balance in my own writing. I know exactly what you mean about it being overused) :)
Your exclamation points are welcome here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
maybe some handmade jewelry for the mail lady. just a suggestion. a very random suggestion. if i was a mail lady, i’d rather have jewelry than baked goods.
also the lip reading… please post one every friday. it sort of makes my day, well my morning.
and the hipster halloween costumes. come on people let your kids be what they want with the exception of their first halloween, maybe their second too. both my boys are being the exact same character this year. as parents we have to choose our battles wisely. I’m going to stick with cartoon character shirts. why do the grandparents and other family members insist on buying them all the time? Gah!
Oh you’re right. I would prefer jewelry. I guess I should learn how to make something.
Lip reading just cracks me up every time. Austin laughs for the first five seconds and walks away. I’m crying until the end.
PS: My mom bought Waylon 6 costumes. 6.
My gosh I so wish I had a mail lady. A note about anthrax seems completely normal to me. Or perhaps some anthrax with a note about what a five piece is would be just as good. Made my day lady, you made my day. Xx
Oh good! Maybe I will leave you a note about anthrax instead.
I love how Austin always ends up saying, ” I don’t know what you want me to say.” Mr. & Mrs. Motley cracking me up.
Also – I assumed that what Austin meant by 5 piece was a 5 piece chicken nugget. Which seemed awesome. But then I read his comment and was disappointed. Although mail lady would probably like a fiver better.
She probably would, though I would take the chicken if I had the chance. Pink slime and all.
Whenever we fly on a holiday (which is often since we don’t live near family) I think about taking the TSA people some home baked goods. But I never do because I think they will assume I put something in it. So you aren’t alone.
Megan, I don’t know you, but I totally sympathize! Who wouldn’t want home baked goods? I actually baked cinnanon buns for my my husband’s UPS driver. (We see him 1-2x day). But he didn’t take them. My husband said he might not. But at least I tried!
Ladies! Good try. Good try…
Ha! The lip reading. I love those.
Those new green boots are adorable.