I thought I was done talking about sleep training, but after receiving a dozen or so emails, tweets, and facebook messages about the details of what’s been happening over here, it seems the subject deserves one more post.
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The last time Austin and I let Waylon cry it out he was 9 months old. He cried for two hours and then threw up all over his crib. It was terrible and we swore we’d never do it again.
At 14 months, the experience has been much different. Night one was rough, Night two was better, and by Night Three he was basically sleeping through the night.
Here is the schedule we follow:
So far he’s been consistently sleeping 8:30pm to 8:30am following this schedule. Honestly it couldn’t have gone much better, though I’d like to reiterate that every child is different and has a unique timeline for when he or she can sleep through the night. Also, I am not a sleep training expert. We’ve only been doing this for a week! I will, however, answer some of the questions I’ve been receiving via the Internet to be more efficient. As always, sharing is caring. Please feel free to leave your advice and experiences below.
1) Why did you decide to sleep train your son?
The short answer is that we both needed to get more sleep. We had be successfully co-sleeping for about 11 months, but over the past few weeks he was waking almost every hour and having trouble nursing back to sleep. This was frustrating for both of us. After talking to some of my most trusted momfolk about their successes with sleep teaching, I decided to give it another try.
2) I thought you put away your crib. What is Waylon sleeping in?
The crib is still tucked away in the attic. Waylon is sleeping in a pack n’ play in his own room. Our goal is to move him back to the floor bed sometime before his second birthday.
3) Are you still breastfeeding? How often?
Not at night (high five!), but I do still nurse him during the day. On great days we only do it 3 times; once in the morning and then before naptime and bedtime. On teething days like today, it’s more like 10 times.
4) Do you miss co-sleeping?
Yes and no. I miss him sleeping next to me but I do not missing nursing through the night. Austin has probably had the hardest time adjusting to our new sleeping arrangement. He enjoyed the family bed.
5) Is Waylon sleeping through the night?
Yes! Sometimes he’ll make a little squeak in the middle of the night, but he quickly goes back to sleep. This is amazing to me, but I also know it’s all subject to change with sickness, teething, and normal sleep regression. One day at a time.
6) Why do you think it worked this time but not the other times?
I don’t know. I’d like to think it’s because he understands what we’re saying, but my hunch is that it’s purely biological.
7) What about naps?
We started sleep-teaching during naps on day 4. It was, by far, the worst part of the whole process. He cried for an hour and I almost decided to nurse him to sleep permanently for naps. I’m glad I didn’t, though. He now goes down for a nap with only a few minutes of crying. Usually I take him upstairs around 12:45, nurse him, sing a few songs, and then put him into bed.
8) Were there any moments of doubt?
The first half hour of the first night, I wanted to quit. The rest of the time, no. Although I will say that I did have a few moments of panic during the first few days when Waylon was much more clingy and unhappy than usual. I tried to blame teething, but in the back of my mind I worried that allowing him to cry without comfort was causing him separation anxiety. Luckily he was back to his old self by Friday (day 5).
9) Do you comfort him at all if he cries?
We follow the 5 minute, 10 minute, 20 minute check-in model. As predicted by most every book I read, it’s much easier for Waylon to fall asleep if Austin is the one who returns to pat his back.
10) Are you a new woman with all this extra sleep?
By far the most popular question.
I do feel different, but it’s not any extra sleep. The most rewarding part of this experience, besides being super proud of my kid, is that I’m able to be more independent. Before, I wasn’t able to be away from Waylon for more than a few hours because I was the only one able to nurse to sleep. Now I’m able to leave him with Baby Daddy or my parents for the evening or (hopefully) overnight. This makes us all feel like superstars.
Someone asked me yesterday if I wished I’d done this sooner. Honestly I have no regrets about our first year of sleeping and breastfeeding, but I am excited about this new chapter. Thanks to everyone who gave advice or helped encourage us this past week. It’s been a tremendous support. We feel the love. Waylon, too.
Happy sleeping.
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Yeah! I asked #5! Also thanks for your email.
I figured you’d be getting the question of “do you wish you had done this sooner?” because everyone that does it sooner thinks everyone else should do it when they do it. A lot of my friends do it at like 9 weeks and I felt a bit judged by them. But I agree with you totally. Only the Mama knows when all parties are ready and the time is right.
Thank you SO MUCH for posting this sleep schedule. My daughter in law has been searching for one that makes sense and this one does!
thanks for answering my questions and for the reply email.
So glad this worked out. Don’t feel bad about still talking about it. I was so curious!!!
pinnnninnngggg
we are going through something very similar with my 1 year old. it was taking 3 hours some nights to get him to sleep if I went in there and nursed him. now, we do routine earlier and nurse before or after bath (he also can’t take a bath right before bed or gets too wound up). then daddy takes over after books and singing and rocks him to sleep. total time is now usually 10-20 mins. trying not to night nurse at all because it just creates the same pattern and makes it even harder and more wake ups. it is SO hard. thanks for sharing your experience. it helps knowing other mammas go through something similar.
Solidarity! You’re doing a great. It’s hard.
This was really helpful. My daughter is 5 months old and I think we’ll try sooner rather than later. Thank you!
I sleep “taught” all my kids around Waylon’s age. Just made more sense. Proud of you!
You’re so real about it. You rock.
I had such similar experiences with both my boys as you’ve had with Waylon. Co-sleeping, failed attempts at sleep training a couple different times during the first year, then easy success shortly after a year. I think parents need to assess how sleep training is going (whether it’s at 4 months/8 months/14 months) and decide if it’s working or not. If it’s not, or if it just makes you feel sick, it’s okay to stop and try again later!
Absolutely.
Thank you so much for sharing your sleep teaching experience. I tries the same thing when Taylor was 6 months old and had similar results to your second try- hysterical tears and throwing up. I think Taylor is closer to being ready for it now, and it helps to have your successful schedule outlined so clearly. Until then, enjoy the sleep for me.
Poor guy. It just breaks your heart. Try again, and if it doesn’t feel right–stop! You know best, mama.
What do you usually give him for a snack before bed? Looking for ideas.
Oatmeal or yogurt or both. It helps me know he’s not crying because he’s hungry.
Thanks so much for doing this q & a. I was really confused about the whole thing. Buying the book you linked to!
Good luck!
Thank you so much for posting this. Proud of you!
I am catching up on some of your posts while my husband is taking our one year old daughter out for a walk because after many nights of not sleeping and no napping I am on a ledge. The girl will not sleep. I’m beginning to think I birthed a cyborg of some sort.
We tried sleep training at around 7 months and it worked…until a week in and my in-laws came for a visit and her entire schedule got screwed up. Now she is the vicious overlord and I am at her mercy. Even my boobs are now terrified of the night time since she is getting up 3-4 times to nurse.
I’m ready to try the sleep training again but we just moved and she is teething and I predict that it would not result in anything good.
I’m glad you conquered the sleep training beast.
That’s so frustrating! Any change in the schedule throws everything off. Good luck getting back into it!
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I want to sleep teach but I k ow that I won’t be able I hear him cry! I think we’ll stick to cosleeping for now…although oh and I miss our one alone in bed!
You won’t be ready til you’re ready. Give yourself some grace and soak up that co-sleeping. I miss it sometimes!