It’s sleep week on the ol’ blog since that’s all I’ve been focused on these days, trying to get my boy to sleep soundly through the night.
Sleep can be a complicated thing, with rituals and strange demands on everything from position to temperature. While some can fall asleep stirring cookie batter in the middle of the afternoon, others need to be half drunk and pumped full of Ambien to get a measly few hours of slumber. I once met a girl who couldn’t fall asleep unless the TV, radio, and computer were all on and set to loud. One of my ex boyfriends fell asleep so easily that we’d be in the middle of a conversation and all of a sudden he’d start snoring (oddly enough, many of those conversations were about how I was feeling about our relationship).
Like most of us, I have my own set of requirements to fall asleep. I need our noise machine on high, cool air, and exactly two medium flat pillows. I need to fall asleep on my stomach with my hands tucked underneath of me and my feet slightly off the bed. I don’t want to be touched, I don’t want to be cuddled, and, if you’re offering, I’d like my own set of sheets and blankets thank you very much.
I suppose this makes me a somewhat high maintenance sleeper, but I know I’m not the only one. Luckily I married someone who shares my affinity for white noise and separate covers. After the required ritual cuddling each night, Baby Daddy and I part ways and roll over to our respective sleep zones until morning.
It sounds weird because it is weird, but chances are most of us have preferences when it comes to falling asleep.
What about you? Are you a cuddler? Do you need white noise or silence? How do you fall asleep?
***
White noise or silence doesn’t matter, but do not touch me. Not one little bit. Not even with one finger, or I will not be able to fall asleep.
On the flip side, here is one of my favorite stories about my baby daddy:
It was one of the first few nights home from the hospital with new baby and we COULD NOT get her to sleep without being held. He took a turn and sent me to get a shower. I returned and was excited to fine he had her ASLEEP in the swing. He was also asleep, on the hard wood floor, no pillow or blanket. I told him to go to bed and I’d sleep on the couch next to her. He insisted I go to bed and he’d stay right there so he would hear her when she cried. I got him a pillow and went to bed. 2 hours later, I woke to her crying and came out to find him sound asleep, on the hard wood floor, with no blanket (in February), with his head less than 2 feet from the screaming baby. If only I could sleep like that.
hahaha that’s awesome.
That’s hilarious.
You just described my husband!!
I used to be cold and need tons of blankets sleeper-but since I birthed my own sleep diva, I am hot every night. It’s disgusting and I want it to end. I keep hoping its hormonal and will go away post boob feeding, but if it doesn’t I don’t know what I will do -air on in December?
What I really want to know is if my kiddo needs all the sleep specifics he has now or if I am the one who created his slightly neurotic routine…chances are it’s more me. now how to break that…
How funny-I also fall asleep on my stomach, hands tucked under my hips with my toes dangling off the end of the bed! So glad to find a kindred sleep spirit :) I hope you all slept well last night-I appreciate your honest report on sleep teaching (love that phrase) and look forward to your updates.
Sleep twins!
PS: Slept through the night last night. Five minutes of crying (total!). I’m on top of the universe.
That is awesome!!! I can only imagine how that feels; your perseverance has paid off. My daughter is almost 8 months & still wakes up at least one time during the night & is unable to fall asleep on her own right now. I don’t think either of us are ready for sleep training yet but your story is encouraging-thanks again for sharing!
Amen to separate sleep zones! Only I married a man who doesn’t understand this. He thinks it’s fine to lay diagonally with legs or torso IN MY ZONE as long as he’s not touching me. I have explained to him many times that this is not okay, especially since at some point during the night, one or both kids will be on my side of the bed.. Unfortunately, it really seems to be beyond his comprehension.
DO NOT TOUCH ME IN MY ZONE (that’s what she said?)
Right side but sort of half on my stomach, head on the corner of my pillow, right arm under the pillow, left one up near my face sort of hugging the pillow, left knee bent, right leg stretched flat out and slightly at an angle, almost entering Brad’s sleep zone. But he doesn’t care about zones. It’s me that CAN. NOT. BE. TOUCHED! I also can’t fall asleep facing Brad. The hot air between us is just too much. My face has to point out.
Bennet is picky, too. The only way he will fall asleep on his own is to be propped up on his right side, hugging a blanket, with the pacifier going full speed. I have to flip him to his stomach after about 30 minutes so that he sleeps longer.
I love that Bennet is a sleep diva, too.
You never turn your neck?! I would get a neck cramp.
After the initial falling asleep I can change position. That just has to be my first position of the night or if I am really wide awake after a nursing or something.
Got it. I also have to be facing away to fall asleep.
I CANNOT breathe Jason’s air. I will never fall asleep that direction unless he’s facing the opposite way. And no touching me. Except in the winter when our bedroom is in the 40′s then I like to sleep back to back. Otherwise the blankets create an air tunnel down the middle of the bed and I cannot sleep with freezing air on me.
Yes, both my husband and I need our separate sleep zones. We tried the cuddling thing when we first got married and that was a no-go from the onset!
I’m an extremely light sleeper. I have to wear earplugs because the noises of the neighborhood/dog/cats/toddler prevent me from falling asleep. I have to fall asleep with my head sandwiched between two pillows. Throughout the night, I don’t need to sleep that way but in order to fall asleep, that’s what I have to do.
When I was in high school, I could hear the neighbor in the condo next door snoring through the walls and had to move my bed to the other end of the room so I could sleep. My parents never let me live that one down :P
Snoring makes me stabby. I get it, girl. I totally get it.
I used to sleep on my stomach with my arms under me and my hands under my shoulders holding onto the sheet that was wrapped tightly around me like a cocoon. Since being pregnant, and now having the c-section that I’m still recovering from, I have to sleep on my right side, right leg straight, left leg bent, right arm under pillow and left arm over pillow. And I need Matt to face away from me because I can’t stand hot air on my back or neck. I also need it to be completely silent. I usually end up getting up and taking his watch out to the living room, and any clocks in the room need to be digital, otherwise they’re too loud.
Ticking clocks: killer of sleep.
Camping this summer in a tent in Virginia, night after night we slept on a twin-size airbed. He had the downhill side, with the wall sagging in, and the window. Our double bed here at home seems like the pit of luxury.
Oh, and at Dr. Perfection’s annual soiree I get the choice sleeping spot in the house, the sofa in her sun room. Not sofabed.
You are a pioneer.
ugh, I like white noise. Steve likes silence. I am selfish though and always turn it on claiming: your snoring will wake Parker without the noise machine! What to do when Parker is out of bed-sharing?!
Silence is so LOUD.
Must wash face.
Box fan white noise.
Cold room.
Perfect pillow.
Don’t touch me.
Fall asleep on left side or back.
:)
MUST WASH FACE. Yes.
My son used a sound machine set to white noise and now my daughter uses it. So, since we have a monitor on in her room, I now must have white noise in order to sleep. It needs to be VERY dark in the room, I sleep on my stomach, and according to my husband, routinely flail about and leave him with only the corner of a blanket. He has been known to get one of our camping sleeping bags and zip himself up in it on nights when I am especially selfish with the blankets. I also require it to be exactly 70 degrees in the room, whatever the season.
My 8-year-old son sleeps VERY still, on his back, and he is often in the same position when he awakes as when he fell asleep. I am convinced that this is because he was my first and I was a neurotic MESS. I “over-listened” to the incessant warnings of all the docs and nurses about the importance of back sleeping. Long after he could turn himself over and back again, I would anxiously turn him over during the night if I found him asleep on his stomach. I think that he now, years later, is still sleeping very still, ON HIS BACK, because his subconscious fears that if he doesn’t, his crazy mother will run in and FLIP HIM OVER. This would, of course, be more difficult now that he is 80 pounds!!
With my 3-year-old daughter, I was much calmer and clear headed, and I allowed her to sleep as she pleased as soon as it was clear that she could move herself around. She now sleeps like me, tossing around as she sleeps, with blankets balled up on top of her, and her limbs hanging out over the side of the bed.
I love that your husband is over there in a sleeping bag. Hilarious.
i have to have the blanket tucked under my toes, no dangling for me! and do not touch me.. i will never understand people who can sleep spooning all night. ugh. also i HAVE to be on my stomach…i will be the worst when i get pregnant, i don’t know what i’ll do!
Yes, ALWAYS the blanked tucked under my toes…but still dangling!
Not being able to sleep on my stomach was one of the worst parts of pregnancy. But don’t worry, it’s not like you’re sleeping much anyway. All that middle of the night peeing…
TV OFF!, fan on, cool air (preferably an open window opposed to AC), stomach or right side, two pillows, covers pulled up, feet covered optional, minimal touching (a hand on my back? Fine, body touching? Not fine), turned away from the hubby and preferably asleep before him (he is a mouth breather at night AND a snorer. There’s nothing worse then the hot, humid, stench of nighttime breath breathing on you), and for the love of God (as the hubby, after 11 years of sharing a bed together, just found out the other night), DO NOT TOUCH MY FEET (especially with other feet). Now, if I’m sleeping with the baby, as I am oft to do, all of that goes out the window, and am I’m just thankful to not have a foot in my gut while I’m pretzel twisted and trying to catch some zzz.
HAH! I hear you. Baby changes everything. All of a sudden it’s zombie mom time and I just need my eyes shut to fall asleep.
And yes. DO NOT TOUCH MY FEET.
I’m 31 weeks pregnant. We have a queen bed, the AC is broken (it was 104 yesterday), and the boys have been ending up in our bed since the move.
DO I SOUND NEGATIVE BC THAT’S HOW I FEEL.
WHAT. THAT IS THE WORST.
I don’t even know what to say. You need rehab. Like, a hotel and cable and AC kind of rehab.
I guess I’m a pretty easy sleeper, although when I had post-partum depression, it manifested mainly in anxiety and insomnia. It was horrible.
But my husband and I like to sleep tangled up together – we’re not cuddly during the day, actually. In winter, I have a hard time getting warm if he’s not in bed with me – and he is such a night owl and I’m not that we rarely go to bed at the same time.
I like my covers tucked in at my feet and he hates that. I like heavy blankets and even in hot weather, I usually sleep with a sheet on.
I think the only serious requirement I have is that I MUST read directly before I go to sleep. I used to panic on trips or in strange rooms until duh, I got myself a little reading light and now I’m fine.
oh, I forgot my other serious requirement: I have to be on the right side of the bed (as you stand facing it at the foot). I don’t know why, but I have to. Lucky my husband doesn’t care.
No cuddling for me! I have to have two pillows, one for my head and one for my leg. I sleep kind of half on my side/half on my stomach with my top leg hiked up on a pillow. I MUST HAVE THAT SECOND PILLOW. That’s my only real requirement. :)
This is weird that this is the first post I’ve commented on. Been reading and loving your blog for almost a year Kate! :) But I like to have no air circulating through the room, cuddling the closer the better, and outside road/truck noises &/or sirens. I usually end up on my back with a pillow under my knees, but start out on my left side with the pillow between my knees. I absolutely cannot get to sleep when it’s raining, or if I wake up because of rain. Temperature is whatever-but I always have to have one foot out for a “thermostat”-unless it’s super hot. We didn’t have air conditioning for 2 years and I almost died. That probably had something to do with working night shift and sleeping in an upstairs bedroom during the hottest parts of the morning (blackout curtains). Seriously went to bed with ice packs in pillowcases all over me.
No touching, feet uncovered, on my belly. I have adjusted a lot since being pregnant and co-sleeping, but I still sleep best within those parameters. Ever since being pregnant I often sleep on my left side and find my right side is uncomfortable.