I wish writing was beautiful. I wish it was like this picture; romantic and inspiring, wistful and admirable. I wish that when someone asked me what I do, they pictured this instead of some sort of cliched artist who watches a lot of TV and doesn’t have a proper diet.
I wish, often, I was not a writer.
I have a quote taped near my desk by Gore Vidal. It says, “I was born a writer. If you’re born that, you can’t change it. You’re going to do it whether you want to or not.”
I try to remember that when Austin asks for the 100th time when my writing is going to make money or when a friend asks if I’ve ever thought about getting a part time job, just for something to do.
I try to remember Lady Gaga and that I was born this way.
I try to remember that being a nurse wouldn’t be all that better.
A few weeks ago I met with someone who wants to write a book and she made a comment that has haunted me ever since. She said, “writing just comes so easy to you.”
There is a scene in the movie Juno when the main character (Juno) tells her best friend Bleeker that she’s in love with him. He says, “You mean as friends?” And she says no, for real, because he’s the coolest person she’s ever met and he doesn’t even have to try. There’s a dramatic pause here and then he responds, “I try really hard, actually.”
I think about this scene whenever someone mentions it’s all so easy for me; the writing, the blogging, the well constructed sentences. I try really, really hard actually. And even then, I fail a lot. I write a lot of really crappy things and throw out more than I keep. I use too many commas and insert more than my share of misplaced modifiers.
I live the same life as most every other writer: in a state of constant failure.
I wish it was easy. I wish I sat down every day and wrote something great. I wish that when someone asked what I do for a living, I didn’t have to make something up. I wish saying “I’m a writer” didn’t make you sound like an asshat.
I wish I was Anne Lamott.
There comes a time in every writer’s life when you write terrible sentences like “there comes a time in every writer’s life” and just accept your fate. This is it. This is me. I’ll be here writing bad sentences and banging my head on the desk until I’m 100 years old and turn into a giant Cheeto. It isn’t cute. It isn’t a hobby. Writing is, unfortunately, what I do.
Cheers.
***
Pretty sure you have a full time job momming (to friend who tells you to get a part time job as “something to do”) Gah.
And maybe what they mean is that even when they try as hard as they can to write they can’t. You know? You are inclined to write and so you work at it and it makes you good. Reminds me of when people say that stuff about people who can draw or who have a creative field like Drew and I. They think it comes easy. To a degree they are right, ya know? I mean I’m nothing special – I am just inclined towards creative things, towards a certain aesthetic. BUT if I didn’t work at it. If I didn’t go to school for design. If I didn’t surround my self with beautiful things and inspiration – I would still be messy and outdated like I was in high school. What I am not inclined towards is numbers…no matter how hard I worked at it in school, it was always a fail for me. But some people understand it better and if they work at math can become really really great at it.
But I know what you mean – they think you are just sitting around being amazing and not trying one bit at it. BUT that is what who are great at their craft do – make it look easy. What I am getting at it – you were born a writer (as you know) and you ARE good at it. You make it look easy.
End longest comment eva.
I’m still confused about fractions.
I know it’s a compliment, it just freaks me out. Like: is it supposed to be easy?? Because it’s not, so maybe I’m not that great at it.
Love this.
I love the comparison to Juno.
I live the same life as most every other writer: in a state of constant failure.
Amen.
I am an “artist” which is also an annoying thing to tell people. And I get the same thing, it’s so easy! I know it’s a compliment too, but I just want to say–it’s not easy at all!
Recently I had an art show in my hometown and invited all my friends to come to it. Maybe 25% showed up and were supportive, the others didn’t bother and made excuses. One said she was sorry she couldn’t come to my “cute little painting thing.” It is what it is.
Cute little painting thing…not cool.
Once someone called me a writer but put air quotes around it. “Writer.”
Still not over it.
Ouch.
Writing, for me, is all about emotion. I take liberties with my grammar and conventions. (Especially commas. And sentence fragments. But not spelling. Or apostrophes.) It’s still readable and it’s my style. I’m a writer, not because it’s perfect, but because it comes from me.
I adore your style. I am so, so picky and I could read your words all day long, baby. (That’s a great pick up line, right?)
You picked me right up.
Until you turn into a giant Cheeto.
And that’s why I read this blog.
I feel like this about my faith. I write posts like this all the time about it but they aren’t as eloquent, since I’m not a Writer. I’d love to write like you, even knowing it doesn’t come easy.
Practice! Read some of my old posts. Horrible. Read this post five years from now….I’m sure I’ll be embarrassed. It’s forward motion.
I hear ya!! I used to imagine that my life as a writer would consist of being in a light-filled condo, overlooking the ocean, sitting at a cute little desk with a typewritter, sipping endless cups of coffee while cats did figure-8s around my legs. I also imagined I would have a lot of plants and that I’d always be going to the farmer’s market to stock up on goodies for incredible meals.
And then life happened. Which means that my life as a writer looks more like laying in bed, nursing my baby and trying to type out blog posts on my iPod (not easy) or stealing a few minutes on the computer while Sesame Street and Yo Gabba Gabba babysit. It also looks like a part-time job at a thrift store, because I don’t know how to make money writing and I’m out of practice at writing much that’s worth a shit. I do have plants and cats, but the plants are dying and sometimes the cats poop on the carpet. I never make it to the farmer’s market. So, there’s that.
What I really want to say is that I’m so glad that you write. Even if it’s hard sometimes. Even if you can’t help but write. I’m glad you come to this place and share your writing. I’m pretty much a blog addict, and yours has become my favorite. I feel like you are the most approachable blogger and the one I can most relate to. Your posts are always informative or entertaining or emotionally-stirring. There’s always something I get out of them.
So yeah, even if you turn into a Cheeto, know that you’re a Cheeto with a loyal reader.
Love this. I had the exact same image! Where are we getting this information? I blame RomComs.
They should make an app that can read your thoughts while breastfeeding so I can stop trying to type it out on my phone.
I’ve gone to the farmer’s market once this year. Don’t worry, I instagrammed it.
Thanks for reading.
“They should make an app that can read your thoughts while breastfeeding so I can stop trying to type it out on my phone.”
OMG YES!!!
Your writing is awesome. I look forward to every blog entry. Thank you for trying very hard!
I was a professional ballet dancer before I stopped to go to college and study English. I wish more people considered writing a “fine art” (rather than the default major for liberal arts studying, upper middle class undergrads) because honestly, the two are so similar. The preparation is grueling and the aim for the final product is the same in that you want it to come off to the spectator (or reader!) as effortless, natural, artistic…I could go on and on. You are a fabulous writer and frankly, it’s endearing to see you admit that you work for it. Who was ever a genuine fan of someone to whom everything came easy to? The best part of reading your blog is the fact that you’re relatable/ witty without sacrificing punctuation!
Thanks Anon. I appreciate the comparison and kind words. Ballet dancer and a writer? You are a rock star.
Writing is not easy. Writing very often does not feel good. Who was it that said, when asked if she enjoyed writing said “No, but I enjoy having written”. I don’t think it feels good until it’s over, and even then going back and reading your own writing feels like stabbing yourself in the stomach as a party trick. Writing to me always felt something between falling in love and walking on a tight rope with no net beneath you. Scary, confusing, vulnerable, open, mortal, difficult, and at the same time I feel like “Well, why the hell not? Even if it ends miserably, at least I did it”.
Exactly.
People that say writing is easy don’t really understand the process. It is far from easy! Even when you do get an agent and get published, it doesn’t become any easier. I’m not speaking from experience but I have writer friends who have told me that publication makes it harder because then, you’re always on deadline.
BTW that Cheeto quote is beyond hilarious.
There’s no hope. Even A. Lamott says it doesn’t get any easier after having “made it.” She says she thought it would all turn around after she was published and popular, but it’s the same heartache over and over again. At least I know?
I love your writing and look forward to what you have to say each day. Thank you for taking the time to pour yourself into something you do so eloquently, it appears to come easily. I can’t wait to buy your book.
At this very moment I am in agony: two deadlines and the words won’t come. All I want to do is watch movies and eat.
I loved this post. BAM. (That was you hitting the nail on the head.)
Love this. As far as blogging is concerned I am all. over. the. damn. place. When I started it was all funny and jokes, then it dipped into serioustown for awhile, and now I’m trying to find a balance but in the meantime I feel like I have all these different voices. I’m still figuring it out.
What is great about great writers is how constant they are. For me, it’s a comfort to pick up a book or read a new blog post knowing that the content is new but I’ll get the same voice. This is what you have. I read you and every time it’s great, and it’s the same in a way. And I don’t mean that in a bad way, as you know.
Debbie, this is spot on. I feel like as a newer blogger, I’m still all over the place trying to find my voice, too. But as you said, Kate has hers down. And it is great to keep coming back to a place and reading a voice you know you like.
I’ll carry this around with me all day. Thanks guys.
Thank you for being real, this is why I love your blog. But you are a great writer, it makes me want to try more.
love the juno reference. diablo cody is kind of genius.
I love that Gore Vidal quote. I tend to blog in spurts because I get weirded out by the possibility that everyone in internet-land could read some of my most personal thoughts … but then I always come back to it because like the quote says, you can’t help but write. I started following your blog recently and I love it!
Ironically, perfectly said. ;-)
I´ve cried watching the Raising an olympian video. Si touching
YES. This. Thank you for re-posting. I love that I’m not alone.