Here’s something: I used to pretend to love camping.
It started when I dated and almost married an avid outdoorsman. I spent hours struggling up steep inclines, shivering in “zero degree” sleeping bags, and stirring beans over a fire. I went rock climbing and pooed in the woods. I had Northface underwear.
It took me years after the fact to finally admit that I hate camping. It was revolutionary, really. One day I was sitting around with friends and we were discussing our various camping experiences; tents, bears, rivers, overlooks, fires that wouldn’t start….and it just came out. I feel claustrophobic in tents! I get blisters just looking at my hiking shoes! Mosquitoes are my nemesis! I don’t even like Northface!
It’s just one of those things, you know? One of those things you’re supposed to love because everyone else loves it and you don’t want to be left out.
There are other things too; ketchup, rollerskating, olives, bowling. I don’t like that stuff either, except now I just say it.
Admittedly, some of things I haven’t liked over the years have eventually become some of my best loves. For example: breakfast, Mozart, smelly cheese. But camping? I don’t know if it was idiocy, immaturity, or extreme FOMO that had me clamming up before–but let me tell you something, saying what you don’t love is often just as powerful as saying what you do.
What about you? Are you faking joy over mini golf? Pretending to enjoy seltzer water? Do you love not camping?
***
I hate the pool, and the beach. I want to love the beach. I love the idea of the beach. But the reality is – I hate sand in my pants, and hair, and all of my stuff, for weeks and weeks and weeks on end. I’m also just about as fair skinned as they come, so I spend most of my time on the beach reapplying SPF 100 and giving the stink eye to “tan people”.
I understand! I want to love camping (and a lot of other things) too. Can’t force it!
I don’t love Glee. Or Lost. There, I said it.
Hahaha
I had to google FOMO.
That’s my question, too.
I hate camping.
Fear of missing out! I only recently learned it (and loved it). I have FOMO syndrome.
I don’t like red wine, ok???!
Ok! No worries, girl. You don’t have to drink it!
I don’t like orange juice. Stop Trying To Make Me Like It.
My assistant doesn’t like massage. How weird is that?
If your assistant wants you to stop massaging her, you should listen. You know, boundaries.
Funny.
That is weird, except remember Austin’s first massage? I’ll never stop laughing about that.
I really don’t like any alcohol. But I admit, I still wax poetic about wheat beer and margaritas. To avoid follow through I just keepmyself pregnant at all times. It seems like the most obvious solution.
Dear Erin,
This comment made me laugh and I clicked over to your blog and have been reading it and laughing some more and let’s be best friends.
Sincerely,
Elizabeth
No way, I found her first.
(One of the funniest bloggers on the Internet!)
Aww. I should’ve known she was already spoken for.
Don’t worry, girls. I’ve got a river of love flowing out of me.
That’s funny, pregnancy is how I get out of camping trips.
I really don’t like camping either, and the hubs keeps talking about going. Ugh. I just have terrible memories of peeing in the words whilst camping when I was younger. I would always miss and end up peeing all over my pants. This caused hysteria in my 9 year old life.
The one thing I dislike of all things is carriage rides. Can’t stand to look at them. Gives me heart palpitations.
I’m laughing about carriage rides. Come to think of it, they aren’t that great anyways.
Not a huge fan of swimming. Peeling off a wet swimsuit= grossest feeling EVER.
Also, I love chocolate but I absolutely HATE mint and chocolate together. Mint chocolate chip ice cream, York pepperment patties…they all taste like toothpaste with chocolate pieces in it.
Quick little story with that last one: my last birthday, my in-laws brought me an ice cream cake. I was so excited! Only…it was mint chocolate chip. :( I had to pretend to like it and eat a piece for them. It was in our freezer for a month because only my husband would eat it.
I understand that. Toothpaste/toothbrushing gives me the willies. Just watching someone on TV brush their teeth makes me gag.
I don’t like bowling or Frank’s Red Hot Sauce (2 of my husband’s favoritest things on earth). I also don’t like laying out in the sun. It’s so gross and sweaty.
I also think lobster is just an over-rated, over-priced way to eat butter.
Thank you! Yes! My husband’s family does this huge lobster dinner every New Year’s Eve and they get sooo excited over it. I end up spending way too much time trying to actually get to the meat and then I don’t even really like it and I often slip my husband the lobster tail because he loves it and I can’t take it anymore. I tell him I just filled up on snacks or that I need to go feed the baby, and no one ever knows that I secretly do not like the lobster. I feel like I’ll be kicked out of the family if I ever tell the truth.
I agree. Lobster and crab both. Now shrimp…that I can eat a lot of.
Be proud and hate that lobster! More for me.
PS: I never put an ounce of butter on my lobster or crab. G-ross.
I used to pretend that I loved old books. It seemed “mature” to me when I was a teenager. But I hate them. They smell funny and look ugly and who knows who’s touched them with what on their hands! Nasty.
Also, beer. It’s so gross.
I dont know how I accidentally replied onto this convo. But my dislikes stand.
I love that you faked loving old books. Hilarious.
I hate licorice. We used to get it a lot when we had people over to play games, and it was just one of those things you ate when you were sitting around. I ate so much of it, and one day, I realized, I don’t like this at all! Why have I been eating it for the last million years? Yuck.
Also, I hate chicken wings, which people think is a travesty. But much like the lobster conversation above, it’s way too much work to get the tiny little piece of meat off.
You’re right, chicken wings aren’t that great. I love these confessions.
I grew up tent camping–sliding down hills during midnight torrential rain storms, peeing in the woods or enduring the long, creepy walk to the bathhouse, and eating food cooked–or undercooked–over a campfire. My husband grew up doing the same kind of camping, with a very different response–he loved it! As he learned to know me, it became clear that I didn’t share his love of camping SO CLOSE to the outdoors. Several years after we were married, he asked me what my basic requirements would be in order to join him in camping. Thus was born what he still refers to as, “The Camping Treaty.” I required sleeping OFF of the ground, a private and easy- to- reach bathroom, a refrigerator, a stove, and air conditioning when it was above 90 degrees. Many people would view this as taking one’s house into the woods. He wisely realized that these were obtainable requirements–in the form of a simple travel trailer. NOW, I really do enjoy camping, even if true outdoorsy people would not call this camping.
Are you kidding me with this Camping Treaty? BRILLIANT. I’ll have to draw one up of my own–the first on the list being: sleep off the ground!
Love it.
Ha, I love this post Kate! No one ever talks about what they DON’T like.
I actually love just about everything above. However, I do NOT like chicken wings or cheese cake. Yuck! Just can’t stand either of them. Ahh, it feels good to say it.
I also used to think that I didn’t like lawn games having to do with Frisbee throwing. Then I tried playing a game the other weekend and realized that I am a great frisbee thrower! Who knew…so of course I like it now.
Frisbee games can suck it (I’m not coordinated).
So glad you could tell us you do not like chicken wings or cheesecake. Just saying those two things together makes me gag a little. They should not be in the same bite.
This post and the comments made me laugh. I would have to say my hidden hate is skiing. I married into a family of ski-enthusiasts and now I spend New Years day trying not to pee my pants as I practice breathing exercises and try to convince myself I will survive on the (shudder) ski lifts. This has proven difficult, especially when coupled with wearing enormo ski goggles and pointing a not-so-sincere thumbs up to my MIL.
Cracking up. I love this image.
Well, I don’t like camping, but seriously, my children love it so much that I will do it for them. Do you recall how much freakin’ work it is to take civilization into the woods for a weekend? sighhhhhh I will not camp for my husband’s sake alone. He is not as fun as the children, who get giddy with all the fun of camping.
I hate candy – sugar is not a flavor. I love chocolate. My kids get candy from the bank, from parades, from their grandparents and it all revolts me. My daughter was eating Nerds today. I had some Wilbur buds.
Horrors! Will Waylon want to camp?! I guess so. I’ll be bringing my RV.
Chocolate > Candy. I’m with you, though I’d kill a man for some sour patch kids.
UGH. I hate camping. And I just admitted it a couple years ago myself.
I also hate thong underwear and can’t believe anyone wears them on a regular basis.
I saw your tweet the other day and I J. Depp doesn’t do it for me either.
I don’t like blown glass art.
Don’t like running.
There is more. I will stop though. I feel better already.