One year ago today I started Motley Mama. I was 30 weeks pregnant, recently unemployed by a bankrupt non-profit, and bored. Even though I had occasionally blogged for the past 5 years or so, I was new to mom blogging and unsure how to begin. For weeks I belabored over the name, hosting site, blog platform and format. I Googled “how to be a successful blogger” and sent my friends polls on what site name was most attractive. When I finally launched, I was nervous and excited, hoping this would be my next big thing.
I was very naive those first few months. I didn’t realize I was competing with bloggers who were getting 20,000 hits a day. I celebrated at 200 and thought I had made it. I posted trivial posts with simple links to YouTube videos. I posted haphazardly and often without thinking, “Would I want to read this?” It wasn’t great.
Then I started reading blogs I actually liked. It started with Elizabeth‘s blog and expanded to a handful of other blogs who were writing real, honest and interesting posts that I wanted to read. It was revolutionary, really. A wake up call to start trying harder by trying less. And so I cut out blogs constantly hosting giveaways and asking me to vote for them in contests. I also stopped reading blogs heavy in fashion and DIYs, not because they weren’t good blogs, but because they made me feel inferior. Then I started writing in my own voice about things I actually cared about.
I found my niche and it worked.
Once my blog hits started to grow, so did my ego. Every day I woke up and thought I MUST GET MORE HITS and reverted back to my Google searches of “how to be a successful blogger.” I got greedy. I got ulcers. Mostly my blog suffered because I was overly concerned with people pleasing. Again, it wasn’t great.
Right around this time, heavy colic set in. I was sleep deprived and stir crazy with a high needs baby who screamed in my arms and a husband starting medical school. In these months I was forced to let go. I didn’t have time to check my stats or worry about what everyone else was doing. I only had two hours of nap time a day, and I spent one hour writing and the other hour in the fetal position on the couch. It was, despite itself, great.
One year later and as it turns out, this blog has become a big part of my life; a vehicle for writing, a means to share, and most of all–a sanity saver. It has grown and changed along a steep learning curve, with pauses for self doubt, weeping, and resounding joy.
I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned when to push through and when to let go. I’ve learned when to share and when to keep my mouth shut. I’ve learned it doesn’t matter what your blog name is or what platform you use or how often you post. I’ve learned what it actually means to be a “successful blogger.”
People often ask me how Motley Mama’s doing; if I’m making money, how many people are reading, etc. Usually they are embarrassed to ask these questions which makes me feel embarrassed to answer. Really, I feel no shame in saying that 1) yes, I feel great about writing every day, 2) no, I’m not making any money, and 3) I have around 2,000 visitors a day.
I can also honestly say that I’m no longer trying to “grow my blog” or “become a blogger” or change the Internet because, despite my baggy eyes and messy kitchen, I’m happy. I’m writing about things I care about, things that make me laugh, and interacting with my readers. I’m meeting fantastic people and joining conversations about important things. I feel engaged and interactive without feeling overstimulated and sad. I also have a happy, healthy baby titan. That’s pretty great too.
So high fives all around, and Happy One Year to Motley Mama. It’s been fun.
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Happy blog anniversary! :) I’ve really let mine go. I used to update often (before the baby came) and then I have been sporadic at best. I believe yours was the first mommy blog I started following. I don’t read many but I find your voice and honesty very refreshing.
Thanks Dara! I always appreciate your comments.
Yours in the only blog I read not written by someone hosted on “The Atlantic” or “The Daily Beast” AND written by someone I don’t know from Adam.
I got turned on to it by Kate Good, who went to EMU many years ago and before your time, I think. We were talking one day about parenting, and she mentioned that I would love your writing.
And I do. I’ve heard it mentioned that there are too many mommy blogs out there. Not so. You have a unique voice, your honest and interesting, and I look forward to reading everyday.
Cheers to anniversaries!
Thank you Heather!
i love reading your posts and blogs. keep it up!!
Gracias!
Great year post Kate! It feels good to find that sweet spot in writing where you really are just having fun and not fretting or trying to keep up. Congratulations! You are great.
Definitely. Thanks C.
Congratulations on your 1 year anniversary!
I think you are in incredible writer. I love reading your posts and will continue to read. (plus, I think it’s pretty neat that you live in my hometown)
Rock on, Mama.
Hummelstown for the win. Thanks Jennifer.
Congratulations on writing your blog for one year. I love your stories and you are also a great writer. Keep going Kate!
Thanks Pat!
I have been a long time lurker of your blog, and commenting on blogs usually isn’t my thing- I think I still try pretend I’m not a completely sucked in. HOWEVER, I found your blog when I was VERY pregnant and reading birth stories was like therapy. Your writing is my favorite. You are funny and I love your outlook on motherhood. Your baby is ADORABLE. Keep writing, it’s good stuff!
Lurkers unite! Thanks for saying hi, Kathryn!
…which is all exactly why I love your blog. :) I don’t do DIYs much or any of that stuff… I just like reading about real people. I have other blogs I read but I have to say that your blog is the one I refer people to most… stuff about the reality of being a mom, a woman, etc. :) Love it.
What sweet words! Thank you, Lindsay.
Um, you’ve done a LOT in a year (happy anniversary!)
I completely agree with you, when I first started my blog I didn’t even know that there were successful bloggers out there! (I had never even heard of Dooce!) I just kind of wrote about what was going on in our lives to tell our family. I had so much to learn. As other people found my blog and reached out to me and told me that my ramblings were helping them make healthier choices I started to think that maybe I should do more (yay more! right?!?) I got so sucked into reading blogs and it started to consume my day. I learned. (and Elizabeth was a big part of that for me, too!) I decided that I wasn’t going to read blogs that didn’t make me feel good about myself or if I wouldn’t want to talk to the person writing.
You’re someone I love reading. Thanks for sharing your life with us!
Thanks Meagan!
I know what you mean, I was so not in the know about bloggers. And then when I was, I didn’t really love it. Now I only read blogs that make me feel accepted and part of the conversation. Otherwise, what’s the point?
PS: Who is Dooce?! Now I’m panicking that I also do not know Dooce.
Dooce is written by Heather Armstrong. She’s a smart-ass who has made a huge business out of blogging. She’s very real and very funny and has an enormous following.
It took me a while to find out just how big the mommy blogging scene was, too. Sometimes I wish I didn’t know because it just creates pressure to be like “the successful ones”.
My blog is just starting to get some outside readers and it’s exciting. I feel like its a struggle not to care about the numbers. I look forward to really finding my voice and just doing this for fun instead of for someone, or many someone’s, to notice me.
Happy Blogiversary!
I love love love your blog… that is all! :-)
Thanks Hannah. Carrying these encouragements around with me today!
My babe is just a little younger than yours… So in love with your blog. I recently sent your letter to your expecting friend to every pregnant mama I know. Thanks for the inspiration!!
How wonderful! Although I hope it doesn’t have them completely petrified of pooping. Maybe ignorance is bliss on that one.
I actually had a dream last night where I was talking to you about your blog and sharing about my blog as well. Strange, I know. Maybe I instinctively knew it was motleymama.com’s anniversary.
Blogger dreams are so strange. I hope I wasn’t terribly awkward. I hope I was pleasant and gracious and witty and very, very thin.
YAY! One year! Love reading, keep it up. Your blog is always a bright spot in my day, my friend. xo.
Thanks for all your support, Karen!
Happy anniversary, Motley Mama. You are awesome!
Thank you, B.
Write the blog (book) you’d want to read.
Amen.
Love you and you’re blog. You’ve done amazing things in one year.
Thanks E. You are a gem.
So, should I be concerned that my blog only gets 15 hits a day? Yes? Shoot.
Also. Thank you for not doing giveaways or three line posts. I appreciate that.
Honestly though, I find this blog very relatable, funny, and authentic. Well done.
I am one of those 15 hits! Because I love your blog. I need to start singing it from the rooftops more: I LOVE YOUR BLOG.
Thanks for the love.
When I first started reading this post, I panicked because I thought you were going to say that you were going to give up blogging. So glad you’re not. I look forward to your posts and love your pictures.
Happy Blogaversary!
Thanks for being a royal loyal. xo
Thank you for writing! Your blog is my only blog that I read. I’m not big on reading but your topics are soo exciting to read about especially that I’m a new mom. You have helped me all the time just knowing that you are going through what I’m going through, learning from you and feel it. I have a smile on my face every time I’m reading your topics except the “Dear baby” one that I was crying while I was reading. I look up to you and wish to be as good as a person a wife a mother as you are.
Thank you so much and keep writing please because they will be teenagers and we will have to deal with much worse things than breastfeeding and postpartum hair loss.
Don’t remind me! Oy.
Thanks for reading, Tamara!
Let me just say I’m glad you’re here. I like reading what you’ve got to say, Kate. And that’s that. Happy one year MM!
Thanks Bridge!
I love that belly shot! I think it takes a long time sometimes to find your voice and your niche and not try to emulate other blogs, but to just be yourself and see where it takes you. I think we all connect better to someone who we feel is real and honest, rather that someone who is perceived as trying to hard. Congrats on your 1 year of blogging!
Thanks so much Travel Spot!
Yay!!! Happy Blog Birthday! I’m a new reader of yours, but I have been enjoying it immensely, so thanks for powering through!
Best Wishes
Thanks Jenn! Welcome!
you are a blogging rock star.
Hi Kate
I’ve not commented before but .. I love motley mama and check it daily (from New Zealand) !
No one keeps it real quite as well as you. You’re great!
Eve
New Zealand! That’s amazing. Thanks for saying hello, Eve!
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