Getting back to the root of blogging with uninterrupted, narcissistic rambling.
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This post was supposed to be about Easter and “look at our family photo” (which I forced everyone to take) and Waylon’s Easter baskets and how indescribably sweet he’s become with his wet kisses and affectionate hugs. But all I can think about is his doctor’s appointment in a half hour and how I hate when people spend their whole life whining and how I can’t write about that because then everyone will think I’m talking about them and then they’ll have to watch what they say because it might end up on the Internet.
Whenever someone asks, “Oh no, is this going to end up on the blog?” another blogger loses their wings.
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if we all had Aspergers and said exactly how we feel when we felt it. It would be awkward, except we’d all have Aspergers so we wouldn’t know the difference. Instead of responding “Yes, that would be lovely!” when your friend who isn’t really your friend asks you to lunch, you could just say, “Hell no, woman! I’ve got a whole other season of Downton Abbey to watch!” And instead of saying “Yes!” and “Sure!”and “I’d love to!” when your cousin’s sister’s friend’s wife asks you to attend her Tupperware party, you could just say, “I would rather sit at home and stare at the wall.”
It would be fantastic.
The other day someone was talking about Italy and I felt that feeling in the pit of my stomach when you really want to contribute to the conversation but you don’t want to be the white-girl humblebragging about her white-girl education trips to Europe. So I kept my mouth shut. The truth is that no one cares if you’ve been to Italy unless they’ve also been to Italy or are planning to go to Italy and are wondering if they should exchange any money. I am telling you this out of love, because I’ve been there. I’ve taken incredible trips and seen incredible things and had to face the devastating reality that no one gives a shit.
I know it hurts. Console yourself with the fact that you have been to Italy.
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Girl… all of it… so true!
I love everything in this post.
I love this. And I need to free write SO BAD. I am too worried about some stupid troll telling me how narcissistic I am. :P
Haha I love this.
That last paragraph could not be more true.
I’ve been to Italy
I haven’t.
I could not love this post more.
Console yourself with the fact that you have been to Italy.
I really want to passively aggressively send this to a few people…yikes!
I know you said you didn’t have time to edit or whatever, but seriously–great. Love it. Freewrites have been interesting!
Also been to Italy. Humble brag together?
Absolute.
I want to hug this post.
Rather eat hard boiled eggs and stare at the wall—yes, indeed.
one time my roommate in college and I started the “Hi, I’m (insert name of roommate here) followed by something that annoyed the crap out of the other. We were imitating that episode from Friends with Rachel and Monica, I believe. “Hi, I’m Monica and I like everything neat!” “Hi, I’m Rachel, and I love Ross, no I don’t, yes, I do!” etc., etc., It was NOT GOOD. I am very glad that there are such things as social filters and I’m also very glad that I no longer participate in such events like Spring Break which cause such events.
I love that episode of Friends. And every other episode ever.
I think I have Asperger’s.
Not really. But I do tend to just, uh, say things. My filters have disappeared with each successive child, and I’m left with diarrhea of the mouth. Or, blog, as it were. I like honesty. Of face and word and mind. It makes things simpler.
Also, I just like the way people’s faces look when I’m unexpectedly straightforward. Sort of like a fish out of water, mouth agape and moving, nothing coming out.
One of my favorite quotes:
The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere. -Anne Morrow Lindbergh
sooo true. just recently Italy came up and it feels natural to say something, anything resembling an I’ve-been-there but yes! always sounds braggy.
Like Courtney from the B? She was always “I was already there.” Winning!
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