Sometimes I worry my child is going to turn out to be the world’s worst heathen baby, complete with tiny devil horns and pitchfork. I worry because we don’t go to church (can’t find a fit), don’t pray before dinner (feels too forced), and make one too many disparaging remarks about Pat Roberston (he be crazy).
The thing about religion is that it scares us. All the rules and stipulations, bullying and blasphemy, Bible thumping and gay-hating. It’s weird.
Austin and I both grew up in Christian homes. My dad was a pastor for a number of years and both of us have a parent working in the Mennonite education system. Neither of us feel any particular rebellion against how we were raised. If anything, we are thankful. Thankful for strong roots, good values, and great examples. We cherish our time spent in choirs and youth group. We remember our churches fondly.
I guess we’ve just gotten a little cynical; hardened by youth pastors who turned out to be pedophiles, preachers who turned out to be adulterers, spiritual leaders who give advice on subjects they know nothing about, Christian fundamentalism at its worst. We see the crazies on the news with their hateful signs at abortion clinics and military funerals and we shudder. We hear people we know, people we love make hurtful, absolute statements in the name of Jesus and we cringe.
And then there’s the Christian Parenting bubble. Too much of today’s “Christ centered” parenting is based on fear; fear of the world, fear of mistakes, fear of change, fear of punishment, fear of diversity, fear of other beliefs and opinions. It makes me nervous.
There’s no doubt we’ll be telling Waylon that Jesus = awesome and to love his neighbor, but I’m not quite sure about all the rest. How in the world are you supposed to teach the Bible to a child? The story of Noah is cute with all the bunnies and kangaroos, but then he got drunk and naked in front of his kids. Should I leave that part out? And yeah, the Joshua-Fit-The-Battle-Of-Jericho song is catchy, but what about afterward, when God told him to kill every single man, woman, and child?
And so I worry.
I worry that if we expose him to the violence in the Bible, he’ll be confused.
I worry that if we let him figure out God on his own, he won’t.
I worry that if we habitually skip church, he’ll miss out.
I worry that if we throw him into Sunday School, he’ll ask questions we can’t answer.
I worry that if we’re honest about our own questions, our insecurities will be passed on without any room for growth.
I worry about a world of demons, the lack of hope.
I worry about fire and brimstone and the Pharisees.
I worry about the evangelicals and the manipulators.
I worry about apathy.
I worry about fear.
But maybe I worry too much.
j
Have you had to make decisions about your particular faith and children?
Any insight you’ve come across in your own parenting or in how you were parented?
We’re all ears.
***
The fact that you’re thinking about this is awesome! From personal experience I realize the best way to go about things to do every day every situation the best you can and pray to God about it take your time thinking things out :-) Matt and I went to a church before we got married and once we got married we stopped going when arment was one I decided it was time to get back into it even though I wasn’t really excited about it. once I opened my heart now I realize I have a true love for my church and my church family. The kids ask difficult questions And we try to answer them the best we can. It usually ends with well that’s a question you can ask God when you meet him. This is our humble approach to (hopefully) non- heathen children:)
Great answer, Christa.
I think honesty is best. If you don’t know the answer, that’s OK. I think it will be healthy for him to know that there isn’t always an answer. Everyone has a different opinion or view on things, and it gives him the freedom to choose what he wants to believe. :)
Honesty is best. I need to stamp this on my brain.
I love this answer…honesty really is best! I also need to stamp that on my brain. haha!
This post really hits home for me. My husband and I were just having this conversation over Christmas. We want our children to have a spiritual presence in their life but we are not sure how to go about it. Great questions and post.
people that claim to have things figured out scare me. thank you for this post. Altesse is catholic, and I’m not sure what I am most days. Because of that, M and L weren’t baptized as infants (catholic), but if we go to a church where communion is given (episcopal, for example), and M wants to take communion, I just let him. I figure the more he is exposed to all sorts of different stuff when it makes sense to him (and as long as it isn’t hurting anyone), one day, he’ll figure it out the way tha it makes sense to him. Because living a life that only makes sense to others, is no way to live. xoxo.
You are absolutely right. Good words.
sorry – typing too fast. should have been “how it makes sense to him (and as long as he isn’t hurting anyone), one day he’ll figure things out in a way that makes sense to him.
I haven’t had to figure all this out yet, but I know from friends that have it that the Jesus StoryBook Bible is great for teaching the bible to kids. It tells the whole story and stories that usually get skipped in Sunday school, but in a way that kids can understand. And the illustrations are fun! I’m sure there are other good ones out there, but this is the best that I’ve seen.
You may think that we are heathen’s but here’s our back story: My mom grew up “crazy” religious – church every day, spoke in tongues, etc. My dad? Italian/Polish Catholic. My husband’s mother is Lutheran (not really practicing) and father Jewish.
Me growing up – went to church a handful of times, but honestly, wasn’t for me…my parents were thrown so much into their religions as children they wanted out – so? We never went any farther.
My husband – never went to church but celebrates all major Jewish holidays.
I don’t feel spited or left out or lost in any way, shape, or form. I feel very much at peace with what I/we believe. I don’t feel like we need a “religion” per se to help guide us is any manner or teach us how to live. I know I’m in the minority with these thoughts…but? For us it works. For our 5 month old – we will teach her our traditions. If she chooses to go to (any) church with a friend or asks us about religion we will take her to show her what it’s like. We won’t “bad mouth” religion, but it definitely is not a big part of our lives. We will teach her values and morals – but I never thought that religion is needed to teach those anyway.
Again – we are in the minority with most of your readers (and you!) I’m sure – but it works for us:-)
Erika! Thanks for sharing. I appreciate your honesty and frankness with who you are and where you are in life. I think it’s great that you are letting your kids explore life and choose for themselves.
Great post. I don’t have a real good answer for you except to say that I am going to try not to be afraid and just know that God gave us Westley and that he will show us the way.
I probably be back to read comments though just in case someone does have an answer.
:)
That is a philosophy I can get on board with.
i am actually struggling with this same issue right now. after suffering a devastating flood we have not been back to church. and it’s now been about 7 months. i am confused about a lot of things that have happened since this event in my life but know that usually things have a way of working themselves out. i am a God loving person and maybe all i need is a new church to inspire me.
Wow, Nessa- so sorry to hear about the flood devastation. I can’t imagine how hard it is to keep your faith or spirit going after that kind of tragedy.
Pray about it. That’s the first and most sure step. Nobody will have a great answer to any of these questions because only God knows the right way to do it. You’ll mess up (everyone does) but it won’t be the end of the world.
My other tip would be to teach love and grace. Recently had a conversation with dad about this. Often Christianity is scary because God is taught in a rather fearful way. He’s not scary. He’s full of love and grace. (This is something I really need to work on myself. I’m not naturally a “loving” person so this is tough for me.)
Love and grace. Yes.
Interestingly, a friend and I were recently discussing our parents’ seemingly hands-off approach to the faith thing. Prayer before meals, yes (either silently or the rhyming kind). Prayer before bed, yes (the rhyming kind). And that’s all I can remember! I don’t remember my questions or their answers, with one exception of a question I asked my mother regarding evolution before I really knew what I was asking, and the answer she gave wasn’t what I learned in school or Sunday School, but it’s the one I still believe. However, that can be a scary thing too – when you don’t know the answer, by giving one at all you accept that your children will inevitably think you do know the answer and take your every word to heart. (Why do I believe in Jesus in the first place? ‘Cause Mom and Dad do.) But, even without discussing faith much with my parents, I am still committed to attending church semi-regularly and praying semi-regularly. I wonder why, in all seriousness.
I agree that to answer honestly is the best policy. And to encourage them to ask questions. That said, I will most likely be a coward and just send my children to Sunday School and pray that their little minds don’t have the nerve to question what teacher says until they are 16+. By then I will have figured this out, right?
It’s scary, isn’t it?
I think encouraging questions is key, I’m just worried I’ll say the wrong thing.
And I also hope, for the love of Pete, that I’ll be a little wiser in a few years.
i hear ya.
This was some delicious food for thought.
Currently, my husband and I attend Neffsville Mennonite Church. Its cool, with “edgy” pastors. They held our baby and brought us meals. Our church is digging into some very practical messages by getting involved in doing more locally- which is something I really want passed on to my children. Serving and loving their neighbor. Jesus’ simple message, and He showed us how to do it best. For me to teach my daughter this, I feel like I have to show her where it is coming from. True, there is some true craziness in the Bible- but it is also a record of what what going on in the world at the time. If the Bible were written today- can you imagine the provocative stories it would include!? I think this helps me relate to the Bible- God didn’t use the perfect people of the world- quite the opposite actually.
I am at peace which teaching my daughter the “Jesus way”. When she asks those hard questions, I will probably deflect and say something like “hmm are you hungry for ice cream?” or ” lets go run in the sprinkler”. (when really I should say something like, “lets call our pastor because I have no idea.”)
This doesn’t answer any of you questions.
*your *questions
No, but I love your answer.
I would also like to add- that I grew up in a church and went through a very screwy stage. Drugs, drinking, police cars and a whole bunch of other hoopla. I was a heathen baby for a period of time. Sometimes the choice of our parents has the opposite effect that is desired, if any at all. Thought I would throw that monkey wrench out there as well.
Same here.
Maybe we’re not as in control as we think?
I always love your honesty! You are not alone in this struggle, for sure. I grew up in the church, my parents were Sunday School teachers and going to church was not a choice, we went. When I became a teenager I fought it until my parents finally relented and I haven’t returned regularly since. As I became an adult ( and most certainly, when I became a mother) I came back to God. I have been so blessed in so many ways and couldn’t be more grateful and thankful. I tried going back to church, with my husband, with our baby, but it just doesn’t feel right. It feels fake and forced. Too much judgement, in more ways than one. Sometimes I feel guilty…but when I am out in nature with my family or watching my husband hold our little girl, I feel the presence of God as if he where right there next to me and the guilt goes away. I want my daughter to feel God is always next to her too. I haven’t quite figure out how yet, but I will try to listen and let him guide me.
Sara, that is beautiful.
I really enjoyed reading this post! I am not a parent by any means I’m not even close to having kids but I ponder the same things for my future…One resource that I have been recently introduced to is a children’s bible called “The Jesus Storybook Bible.” I absolutely love this book even for my own reading sometimes. All the stories in this book are based on biblical stories that point to Jesus, it does a great job portraying the truth in an understandable way. It also clearly points out that the bible is a love story and God’s mission through the book is to win us back. I recommend checking this book out…it’s soooo good!
I had two comments about this book! Actually, I think it was given to me as a baby gift. I’ll have to go root around for it in the attic and check it out.
Oh Kate,
What if you could set aside all the religion and get down to what really matters? Ultimately “religion” is just man’s attempt at making himself feel better or earn some god’s approval to avoid some unknown wrath. But what about the state of your soul? Do you believe in sin? Do you believe that we’ve all got ourselves in a very unfortunate predicament where we are separated & removed from God now and for eternity? Do you believe that Jesus is more than just an awesome guy who loved His neighbor? These are the questions you should be asking.. not if you’re going to attend every Sunday or put W in the choir. When the rubber meets the road, our sins need payment. Period. Either we can trust Christ’s sacrifice for that payment or take it upon ourselves and spend eternity without God. THAT is what matters. You asked if all this means facing your own insecurities, doubts, beliefs..? I would say, yes absolutely. Take the time now when he’s still itty, to seek the truth of God. God is very clear in scriptures that He can be “found”, He reveals Himself to us, and “rewards those who earnestly seek Him”. You can figure out the other details as you go.. but having that foundation to build a home and a child’s life on is absolutely vital. I pray today that you might open your heart to the God who loves you and your little family so very much, and that you might come to a deeper understanding of who He is.
Oh Christie.
I think that your statement “What if you could set aside all the religion and get down to what really matters?” that question is the exact reason why I (maybe kate) have so many questions….it is not about “religion” it is about the heart or the “state of your soul” as you put it. So I question the “religion” aspect of the world’s church. I want my children to grow up knowing God’s love and power through love but i want NO PART of the legalistic “religion”of churches.That is Not what God/Christ is about. So i question all of the same questions Kate does…. That is not wrong but awesome! Jump out of your high and mighty zone – Christie/Pharasie…. (Matthew 15:3-6 RSV)
Girl. I love this.
My husband and I were so much in the same boat as you guys. I grew up in a firm kinda faith. In a way, he did too. But we were both totally burned by that. Same thing as you. Youth Pastors who ended up cheating on his wife under our noses. A child pastor who was later deemed a pedophile. The idea of purity-or-go-home, never talks about real life ish like broken hearts or how to handle it.
I am so grateful where God landed us now, though. So grateful. We are in a small start up Church in our local city. Where it’s all about being real. Loving your neighbor. Accepting each others. Reconciling to others, God, ourselves, to nature. Mostly about growing together as a community.
I wish more churches would adopt the philosophy of love. Stop being so harsh, black and white, critical, and just putting up “walls” between “them” and “us”. I hate that crap, it’s exactly what burns people. What burns you. What burnt us.
I’ll pray that you’ll find something as a fit.
I have the same prayer. Your words are encouraging. Thanks Katie.
I love hearing everybody’s experiences with this! With all the different religions and ways of believing and worshiping, I think this is one of the biggest questions we all have to figure out. My husband and I both grew up in LDS (Mormon) homes in Utah. For a lot of people in Utah you’re Mormon just because that’s what your parents are, or whatever…but we each had times where we had to figure out if this is what we really believe in and want to live and teach our future kids…and we do. I think the biggest thing is you can’t teach your kids things or make them live ways that you’re not sure of, in the name of hoping it’ll help them be a good kid. I would say find you believe and can stand by even during difficult times, find what brings you peace, find what brings you closest to God, and then teach that to Waylon. I think kids learn best by example anyway, so he’ll be a lot more likely to learn and live how you *live* instead of how you *say* to live. Good luck. :)
bolton.lindsay@gmail.com
sorry… typing too fast….
I meant to say
…find *what* you believe…
You’re right Lindsay, living life the best we can is probably the greatest gift we can give to our kids.
Thank you so much for writing about this. Sometimes it seems every momma blogger has a very strong religious affiliation and it helps to know that there are other mommas out there with these same fears and concerns.
I’m with you. I don’t know what to do. So, for now, I just love. I show love to others and to my children. I try to lead by example. Do I always get it right? NO WAY! But, I’m at a loss of any other way to instill goodness into my children because I’m certain the bible won’t be what does it (although I do believe there is some good that can come of raising a child with a particular faith).
Anyway, I’m rambling and not helping all at once :) I’m good like that. But, THANK YOU. This is important stuff.
Thank you, Jamie. I’m glad I’m not alone.
“Social religion is perfected when private religion is purified….The whole church of God gains when the members that compose it begin to seek a better and higher life.” A.W. Tozer
Yes.
This is a fascinating topic and I think very relavent to parents of our generation. The majority of my friends who were raised as Christians are now not raising there kids as anything religious. Not attending church and so afraid of all the missteps of the Church that they feel safer just leaving it alone.
My husband and I were raised in Christian homes, although (thankfully, say I), not ‘evangelical’ or ‘spiritual’ ones (meaning, our experiencs tended to be more liturgical, based on the works of mercy, more solemn and centered on life-practice than ‘put your hands in the air and sing this worship song in the dark’-type). We attended a Protestant university, and for all its good, it did turn us both into cynics, so confused by all the hate and mistakes from ‘Christians’, and so much to doubt, that it left us both with a lot of questions.
Then, throw in an infant and suddenly attending church is ridiculously difficult (siting quietly, nursery, education, finding community with a screaming baby on your hip, etc.).
Here’s where we are: the Church and churches are flawed. We can’t find that perfect fit in a church. We go anyway. We decided we had to start serving a church and stop looking for one to serve us. We encounter Christians who say and do the wrong things. We often can’t make sense of the Bible. We are democrats who don’t support abortion and are pacifists, so basically everyone hates us for one of the above.
We hope God has mercy on us, sinners. We’re going to continue on, praying for God’s grace. We’re trying to center our children’s education on Jesus’ ministry (and deal with all the muddy parts as we go). We’re not using Christianity as a scare tactic.
Yikes.
It looks like we are in/came from the same camp (I don’t know a better way to say that).
You’re right, you have to find a church to serve and not one to serve us (another generational flaw-selfishness)…and I could probably stand to relax a bit, too.
Thanks for your insight (and well put) response.
This is a great comment, Erin. I too was just thinking that we (my husband and I as Christians) sometimes look to church for the wrong reasons – to meet our “spiritual” needs. Everyone’s faith journey varies greatly, so how can we expect one institution to meet the needs of 100+ individuals on any given Sunday morning. Daniel and I have come to greatly appreciate our church for the community aspect. Our church has given us meals during stressful periods of our married life and has supported us to the utmost during the sudden death of my husband’s sister. The leadership and style in the church have changed drastically since we first began attending there, but we still love going because of the community – people who love Christ and each other.
When we were first “church shopping” as newly-weds, we knew that not any church would suit us. We’re more liberal than many mainstream Christians, so we looked for a church that focuses on Jesus, his love and his life as he is the best example we have of God. We wanted a church that would accept all people without judging them – just as Jesus did. That being said – do we feel church is key to raising a non-heathen child? Absolutely not! There a many, many! examples of people who don’t go to church but still have a heart full of love for people and God.
The old testament is all mixed up and crazy violent, but these are stories of regular people who many times screwed up and made (really!!) bad judgement calls just like we(I) do today. When my kids ask me about the old testament stories, I hope I’m quick to point that out and then point to Jesus’ example of non-violence and love.
I’m trying to teach my kids that God/Jesus loves them no matter what they’ve done, that we need Jesus, and that living a life of love (instead of anger, bitterness, dishonesty, etc) as Jesus calls us to do is what will make them the happiest. And I pray daily that God’s grace will cover over the multitude of parenting mistakes I will make and that my kids will forget anything I say/do that isn’t going to further their own faith journeys.
(Great post Kate!)
Rereading my comment now, clearly didn’t edit, embarrassed and apologetic.
Don’t apologize. I am the queen of unedited comments.
for many things, but especially this, I rely on this mantra: “the truth will set you free.”
My daughter is 6, old enough to start asking some crazy questions about life and I don’t always know. But I tell her to the best of my ability and admit when I don’t know. Love and truth, baby, love and truth.
Plus, I have to admit, that although I am a Mennonite and dearly love all my ethnic baggage and especially our church body, I am a sucker for a good community. If I found a good church community anywhere, I’d want in. A good community helps you carry the weight of these questions, helps you raise your kids (you know, like Hilary Clinton said! – honestly, I never read her book).
Totally.
Love and truth.
Hi Kate!
I think you might be looking right past the Savior and dwelling too much on the particulars of the things He talked about and the other people that claim to follow Him. While His teachings are important, let’s not forget about Him. I think that by backing up and focusing on a loving relationship with Jesus, you’ll find the answers that you’re looking for (for you and for Waylon). His grace really is sufficient for us. Be blessed on this journey!
(P.S. I SO enjoy your blog. I really appreciate your honesty. And I often find myself smiling at how cute Waylon is or laughing at your funny stories. Thanks for writing!)
Thanks Melissa.
“Youth pastors that turned out to be pedophiles,” yeah that was pretty high on my list of reasons why churches are no good for a long time. Now I feel like I am right where you are at. I have no idea what to do with religion. Going to Christian school for all those years gave me a lot of head knowledge about the bible but I feel heart knowledge is most important. I need to fine the best way for Eleanor to learn about Jesus in a personal way. I haven’t figured that of yet…
Ah! this is exactly where I am right now with my kids. I love what so many people wrote: That honesty is the best policy. And that teaching your kids that it’s ok to ask questions.
“preach the gospel at all times. when necessary, use words.”
-attributed to st. francis of asissi
your actions of love, patience, hope, honesty, prayer, compassion…
these all lead to a conversation about faith that is fitting, true and right.
Godspeed.
Yes.
Just remember, God is love. He is light and in him there is no darkness. You have to take that old testament violent god stuff as humans writing about what they believed or wanted to be true about their god. The OT contains the story of people trying to understand and follow God. Sometimes that god was made in their own image. Just because it is in the Bible doesn’t mean that God means it to be literal truth. If taken completely literally it is even internally self contradictory. (long sermon skipped here) I believe that Jesus was God in human form. If that is true, God is not violent and completely loves his creation to the point of even dying at our hands rather than becoming violent like we are. If you want your child to grow up to love God, then serve those around you and show your children how to do the same. A church, even with all it’s imperfections, is a good place to start because it at least teaches that there is a God that loves us and cares for his creation. The crap that gets preached about having to get your ticket punched by reciting some magical incantation or else you’re going to burn is a damned lie straight from the accuser. Call that kind of god Moloch or whatever, but don’t blaspheme God the Creator in that way.
My encouragement to you is try and find a group that you can love and serve. I have often thought of quitting going to church, but then I realize that is rather selfish. I was plenty self-centered when our children were growing up and it sometimes shows up in their lives. Example IS a good teacher. But they also learned some things about serving others that would not have come through as clearly if there wasn’t a group around us that we could help when needs arose. You can take meals when a new baby comes or a person is ill. You can help someone when the job at hand is too big for them alone. Children growing up with those examples will at least be aware of others. Church is a good place to have those opportunities. But going to church has no relation to salvation.
I cease here because I see I am taking a lot of space, but you opened a subject that is dear to me and I would do anything to help someone to love and desire God rather than be afraid of horrible consequences if they don’t jump through all the right hoops.
Smart words. Thanks E.
Hmm, not really sure what to say. I see where your fears are coming from. I often have some of the same questions. Heck, we go to church weekly and I still get disheartened by it sometimes–maybe because I see the apathy of church members and see only a few who want the church to survive (we go to a church of maybe 40 regular attenders, more than half of those over age 60). Sometimes I just want to throw in the towel and give up.
But then I realize that’s not coming from God and I need to keep going, for my son’s sake.
Anyway, about some of those nitty gritty parts of the Bible…there are special children’s Bibles out there that will tell them the fundamental stories without all the more, um, colorful parts. I know I didn’t know all the details until junior high, when I was mature enough to understand it.
I hope this helps a bit–just know you aren’t alone–it can be difficult trying to figure out how to instill faith into a child with all of the other narrow minded Christians out there.
We left the church group that my dad founded about a year ago for so many of these same reasons… I couldn’t bear to raise my kids there and experience all the baggage I had to work through. I feel like I am on a journey with the whole thing which is scary because W is already getting old enough to absorb so much. We do go to church right now (however it is all a bit of a joke with an almost 2 year old… he does not give me “fellowship time”) but I am looking for something more, although I can’t put my finger on it. More community perhaps and less church form?
Thought provoking words, as always!
So, this conversation is a year old, but you re-posted on FB, it caught my interest, and now I feel compelled to spend a few minutes of my lunch break writing out some thoughts. I struggle with this one ALL THE TIME. I have a 3 year old. I grew a pastor’s kid in a very conservative evangelical community in Minnesota and then later Lancaster, PA. This may strike you, and others, as somewhat funny but it was those peace and justice loving Mennonites at LMH (a good bargain education for my non-pacifist parents) that caused me to start questioning some of the basic assumptions I’d grown up with (the Bible is literally every word inherent, God is a Republican, make no mistake about that, and the antichrist is probably a commie living somewhere on earth right now as I type). Plus, as a pastor’s kid, you get the added bonus of a front row seat the spectacle demonstration that in fact Christianity doesn’t always seem to make people better and more like Jesus. At least not to the untrained human eye…
So, I rebelled late – post-evangelical college years – around age 25. Stopped going to church altogether, started enjoying some libations, and dating atheists, buddhists, agnostics – and (gasp) lapsed Roman Catholics.
But I missed theology. I missed Jesus. I even missed that screwed up little community of tightly-banded hotheads that we sometimes call church. And so my husband (a Catholic) and I decided to try church again. 7 years later we’re officially Episcopalians. And we go to church. And we still question everything. But we’re in it – we’re wrestling with it. We’re engaged.
My friend, a former southern baptist turned episcopal priest, frequently says that Church is where broken, messed up people in need of grace go to hang out — b/c Jesus was nothing if not a man who hung out with broken, messed up people in need of grace. “It’s not the ‘dirty hippie’ at the coffee/wine bar down the street that needs your grace, Heather, it’s the crabby-ass teaparty activist in the next pew giving your crying baby the stink eye.” Preach it, Father Sam. Preach it.
Perhaps this – my willingness to go to Church to give grace as well as receive it – is the most important thing I can give James, my little boy, at the moment.
I should have send “the most important thing I can give, James, my little at the moment by way of religious and moral instruction”. Of course, I deem shelter, food, and emotional stability and love slightly higher than daily grace giving on scale of relative importance. :-)
“It’s not the ‘dirty hippie’ at the coffee/wine bar down the street that needs your grace, Heather, it’s the crabby-ass teaparty activist in the next pew giving your crying baby the stink eye.”
Now that gave me the shivers.
Great comment. Thank you for sharing.
I really understand your worries. I have my own too. We are a Muslim family and I was raised with no believes. My father didn’t believe in anything for a long time then he suddenly switched to religion which I enjoyed a lot until he passed a way 7 years later. I worry that I won’t be able to teach my son the Muslim roots especially that we live in a Christian country. I want him to read the Quraan and to learn prayers and fasting. I will just take it step by step with him and do my best with teaching him reading Arabic so he can read the Quraan eventually. So like everyone in comments above is saying, it’s step by step.
Thank you so much for this article, it really talked about every mother’s worries.
Peace :)
I admire you, Tamara.
I can completely relate. Religion has always totally fascinated me, both my own {Catholicism} and others. Rather than a belief in religion per se, I’ve more developed the belief system that everyone, everything is connected. Whether you put the name God or Buddha or Allah, it’s all the same being. Kindness, love, and care for others is something I want my children to believe in. Don’t lie, don’t steal, don’t be an asshole to your fellow man. We’ve chosen to expose them to kindness through our own actions, different religions and thoughts rather than to tell them that one way is the ‘right’ way.
Fundamentalists that make God someone to be feared scare the shit out of me.
“don’t be an asshole to your fellow man” … good one.
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