I’ve had a revelation.
That was wrong.
Since then I’ve completely changed my mindset about food and babies and breasts. A boobalation, if you will.
I’ve decided to exclusively breastfeed BabyWay until he is at least 6 months old. I threw out all the rice cereal and baby oatmeal in the house and will start him out on something tastier like an avocado (or if he’s being especially wretched–lima beans) in a month or two.
Before you peg me for a crazed la leche mom or think I am doing something incredibly admirable–don’t. Truth be told, it’s for all the wrong reasons.
Sure, I love my kid. Sure, breast is best. But the thing is, I like cake. Scratch that, I love cake. And while I’m still trying to lose the last 50, I refuse to give up my basic dessert rights. Breastfeeding helps shave off some extra calories each day and I’m choosing to take full advantage of this while I can. It is the one and only favor childbearing does for your body. The rest is all fissures and clumps of hair. Not cool.
I know I’ve complained about breastfeeding before. It can be a major pain in the arse. I miss conversations because of it and often he doesn’t nurse well, squirming and biting and screeching like a rabid dog. The worst is when I’m in a public place and have to sit in some pee stained bathroom stall because he won’t nurse with any distractions. These are not breast-bonding moments.
But there are advantages. Which is why I’m forging ahead. Breastfeeding multiple times a day, like a common dairy cow, in grimy bathroom stalls, for the remainder of the month and possibly beyond. All for the love of cake.
We’ll see how long I can take it. Maybe I should just get a treadmill.