Momfession #13: My Baby Smells Like A Foot

And I really don’t know why because he sits around in his pajamas all day snacking and napping. World’s laziest baby and yet he reaks like three week old leftovers.

I can only blame his parents. Our bath routine has gone from an every day ritual to “Has he been bathed this week? Because his crotch smells awful.”

I blame the hassle that is bathing. Pre-parent Kate thought washing a baby would be the most precious, wonderful, magical, easiest piece of cake ever.

No.

-Bathing Baby-

Step One: Undress Baby.

Step Two: Tell Baby How Cute He Is Without Clothes On.

Step Three: Fill Up Kitchen Sink (That Still Kind Of Smells Like Onions?) With Appropriately Warmed Water.

Step Four: Spend Ten Minutes Arguing With Spouse On How The Water Is or Is Not Appropriately Warmed.

Step Five: Turn On Space Heater.

Step Six: Turn Off Space Heater Because It Is Singeing Your Eyebrows.

Step Seven: Find Baby.

Step Eight: Undiaper Baby/Get Peed On By Baby.

Step Nine: Place Baby Gently Into Water While Acting Incredibly Excited For Baby.

Step Ten: Wash Slippery Baby Parts While Singing Loudly For Baby.

Step Eleven: Try Not To Drop Baby Because Baby Is Squirming.

Step Twelve: Encourage Baby To Maybe Enjoy This.

Step Thirteen: Rinse Baby.

Step Fourteen: Dry Baby.

Step Fifteen: Admire Baby In Towel.

Step Sixteen: Diaper & Dress Baby.

Step Seventeen: Smell Baby/ Be Satisfied With Baby.

Step Eighteen: Watch Baby Spit Up In Ear.

Step Nineteen: Start Over.

Translation–> It’s Exhausting.

I also blame teething, which has contributed to less sleep and a general veil of laziness because no one is rested. Remember that one time back in the newborn days when I was all “Woe is me, the baby was up five times and I’m so tired” ? Well I should have thanked my lucky stars it was only five times because teething is a whole new battlefield. Just last night WT was up every hour. EVERY HOUR. If you think I’m exaggerating, I invite you to bed with me tonight. You will not enjoy it.

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33 Comments

Filed under 3-6 Months

33 Responses to Momfession #13: My Baby Smells Like A Foot

  1. karen

    if it makes you feel any better, last week, i couldn’t remember when Marc last bathed. in the madness of everything going on, i literally could not recall when he last stepped in the shower. his hair never looked better. :)

    but honestly, i don’t bathe my kids every day. it dries out their already dried out skin, especially during these winter months.

  2. karen

    forgive my use of the word “literally”

  3. Bethany Smith

    I love these steps. Bathing babies is no easy task!

  4. Gretta

    That picture is adorableeeee.

  5. Fay

    3 week old leftovers? You crack me up.

  6. it is true. once I realized the husband enjoyed giving the baby a bath, I crowned him king of cleaning. I hardley ever have to give behr a bath, and when I do, it is me letting him sit and splash at might feet while I shower. does that count?

    • oh, and this remindes me of a story I just heard.

      my friend kami was a baby that smelled, and they couldn’t figure out why. and then one day then lifted her neck rolls to find crusty spoiled milk. gross, but true story. and her parents are quite attentive, just didn’t realize what was getting trapped in there.

      bottom line: check for spoiled milk.

  7. Suz

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/B000GBGO26/ref=sr_1_16_olp?ie=UTF8&qid=1321541793&sr=8-16&condition=used

    we got this cheap bathtub. this was one of the “plasticy” things I swore I wouldn’t need. But, Kyle often works rotations at night and I was bathing her myself, I was afraid the slippery little bugger would drown the way baths were going. It’s been a lifesaver. Cheap, but effective. It can go over the kitchen sink bc it has a plug that will drain out. I did that for a while, but now I just fill it up in the bathtub. She hated baths when it was just her in the sink, now she’s happy as can be and looks like she’s lounging in a jaccuzzi. It is much easier.

  8. Ali

    Teething is a wonderful gift bestowed up on us, isn’t it? I was up every hour last night as well. We are having rapid fire incoming teeth the past two months and I am nearly over it. Unfortunately, we have many teeth to go… Hang in there, it will pass. And one word. Naps!

  9. Sara

    I feel your pain! We had the same problem with our little girl (she’s one now). Both the teething and the bathing. Have you tried bathing in the tub with him? That’s the only way Lola would stand it for a while, much better now. Also, you can get a theometer to check the temp. We got a nice plasticky turtle one as a shower gift from Target, haha. It beeps if it’s too hot or too cold, lifesaver! Also, I swear by frozen wash clothes, the little baby size, for teething.

    • Frozen washcloths are W’s new favorite snack.

      We only have a stand up shower in our current apartment, but the house we’re moving into has a bathtub and I’m going to try bathing together. It kind of sounds awful, but maybe I’ll love it?

  10. Melody

    Ahh..teething is NO fun! When Bennett had those up-every-hour nights, I broke down and gave him the smallest little bit of baby Tylenol…soooo helpful! Hope it passes quickly!

  11. It will get easier. When he’s running to the bathtub all “BATH MOMMA!”, trust me. Its part of our bedtime calming ritual. Every.single.day. And granted? My husband does it, but its quick, and not a big deal at all. So I think you’ll get there. For now, enjoy the smelly kid ;)

  12. Sorry about the teething! :( I had to pull out the Baby Orajel yesterday…and I hate using that stuff on my little guy’s gums because I know how weird the numb feeling is. It seems to be the only thing that helps him when he’s grumpy from the teeth pushing through.

    We actually bathe Tommy every day but that’s only because we found out it helped him go to sleep much easier. He loves his baths, although Mommy and Daddy often come out just as wet from all his splashing. We use a plastic Fisher Price whale–it works well. :)

  13. Heather

    clean kids are not a necessity! trust me! bath times can be way too chaotic. My 4th hardly ever had a “bath” I would hold her in the shower with someone else getting a shower. (wearing a onesie so I would drop her). I may have told my kids that the bath stopper wasn’t working. showers are much much quicker! kind of horrible till kids get used to it. but, hey, mom’s have to have sanity.

  14. Heather

    wait!! I mean “wearing a onesie so I would NOT drop her” I’m not that bad of a mom

  15. Bec

    “Step 8: get peed on by baby” so true, Kate! And poor buddy with the teething:( that’s the worst. I didn’t have any success w/ orajel either. I put Sam’s rubber ducky in the freezer and he gnawed on that. We had a few of those nights where we saw every hour on the clock as well. Hopefully those little teeth will cut through so you both can have some relief!

  16. I used to freeze celery and give it to my boys to gnaw on. Teething is the worst in bringing out the demon baby. It gets better. and they have a full set of teeth around age 2 so that’s something to look forward to!

  17. oh my gosh that is so funny! We have the same routine around here…”when did the boys take a bath last?” It’s just not as precious as I thought it would be (lol!) But your little one is totally adorable, so I’m sure he can rock the stank.

  18. Jacq

    Teething can go on for a year. Some kids handle it well others, not so much- the eye teeth are the worst. But you have about 8 month before that starts.

    Bathing- I think it’s insane to bathe a baby every day. Mustela had this no rinse baby wash that I will use on their neck and bottoms if needed between baths.

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