Dear friends,
First of all, you rock. Thank you for your support in this whole “let’s make a website like everyone else” endeavor. Your phone calls, messages, and random encounters in Target where you have voiced your love and enthusiasm is very encouraging.
The truth is that while it’s a lot of work, I enjoy keeping up with this thing. I really do. But guys, blogging is weird.
It didn’t really dawn on me until a few months ago when I randomly googled “mommy blogs” to see if there were any other ones out there. What I found was enough Mommy blogs to wallpaper Texas (duh). I was in awe. Upon further research I discovered what was once glorified electronic scrapbooks is now a cultural force to be reckoned with. Decorated with professional graphics, pithy tag lines and labels like “PR Friendly,” Mommy blogs have become a giant industry. I was so not in the know.
A few months later and I’m a little more blog-intelligent, but not much.
Here’s what I’ve learned so far about blogging:
1) Blogging = new friends. Ever since I started Motley Mama, people have sent me e-mails saying they want to be friends. I find this fantastic. What’s weird is when you meet one of those new friends and realize you have nothing to say because, well, they already know.
A few months ago I met up with a young mama who had been reading my blog for a while. Midway through our conversation she said, “So, about those anal fissures…” Oh! The great thing was that she proceeded to give me some very helpful advice. Without the blog intro, I doubt those fissures would have come up organically.
2) Blogging = no privacy. Smarter ones who have come before me said it best: Blogs and family don’t mix. Obviously this doesn’t apply when you have a blog specifically for family, but when your target audience is everyone else–it can be awkward city when you mention your mother-in-law and then see her two days later at a family dinner (Hey Mom Baer!). Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for all the family support, but sometimes I feel the censor bug pop up when I think about Baby Daddy’s Mennonite grandmother reading about my bowel movements and sex life (Hi Grandma Miller!).
Anne Lamott’s advice is to write as if you’re family is dead, which is brilliant. The problem is that they’re not and are probably pissed I said a swear. Eventually I’m just going to start showing up at family reunions with a sign around my neck that says “I’m sorry.”
3) Blogging = a learning curve. Any new blogger will tell you that the blogging learning curve is steep. Every week I find myself troubleshooting very simple website maintenance for hours that should only take a few minutes. Those are not my best moments. Mostly I’ve learned things the hard way (like, always back up your website). But I’m making progress.
4) Blogging = cheap marketing schemes. Look, I understand giveaways. I understand their value and appeal to both parties and I even enjoy entering them from time to time. But when I check my blogger dashboard and all the blogs I follow are featuring a giveaway, it bums me out.
5) Blogging = hurt feelings. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people say things like “I would never have time to blog,” as if their lives are too busy and important for such frivolous nonsense. What I want to say back is, how do you have time to do anything? You make time for it. That’s how life works. I would never say to a stamp collector, “I don’t have time to collect stamps” because it’s not true. I just don’t want to make time to collect stamps. You make room for what’s important.
I used to shy away from the term “blogger” because a) it’s kind-of a stupid word and b) its negative connotations make me feel like a dummy. But lately I’m embracing it, because there’s really no way around it.
6) Blogging = mistakes. It doesn’t matter how great of a writer you are, without an editor, mistakes are inevitable (especially when you have a clingy 4 month old clawing your face all the time).
A few days ago I wrote a post misusing the word “lay” instead of “lie.” Ironically I realized my mistake in the middle of the night while “laying” down and have been horrified ever since.
Even though I made the correction, my face is still flushed from such an atrocious grammatical error. While “blogspeak” allows for a different kind of writing style (ie: incomplete sentences), there is no excuse for poor grammar or spelling.
7) Blogging = hilarious. One of the highlights of my day is checking where my traffic is coming from. A good percentage comes from Google, and I think it’s a riot to see what they googled to find me. Some favorites from this week–> vampire toilet, sucker-punch, japan stuffed toy pee poo, scary toilet, lick wounds, ridiculous vibrating muscle, teeth.
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So I’m curious.
Fellow bloggers: How has your blog experience grown and changed?
Readers: What makes a good blog? What are your pet peeves?
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PS: This will make you giggle: Over-sharing 2.o: The Rise Of The Couple Bloggers
The best comment I ever got? Told me I’d never get a book published until I learned to use they’re and their correctly. I searched and searched for the mistake only to find it in a comment I’d left buried in the middle of 70+ comments on said post.
I mean really.
Wow. That’s too much for me.
Too many giveaways are a pet peeve of mine too. Also all that self promoting–like “vote for me” in this contest crap. Bleh.
I love lists! You are good at that ;)
This is funny.
I read your blog. And E’s. And Mama’s Minutia. And The Housewives of Buck’s county. All good. All entertaining.
All great choices.
From a blogger who’s been neglecting her blog…… I appreciate good content. I’m not much of a writer so I try to incorporate good photos to achieve what I lack in words. Your blog has both a great writing style and great pictures. Keep up the good work!! It is true, you really do have to set aside time for it, but it’s neat to see who is reading it and how they are finding you. I have not had a new post in ages, yet still I manage to attract readers. If it’s something I can relate to, I will keep reading.
Thanks Amanda. I agree–if I can relate, I’m there.
I’m with Viv. The best blogs never self-promote, sell jewelry, have giveaways, or talk about their reader traffic. Bloggers talk about themselves all the time, but when they start talking about the blog and how it relates to the internet it starts to tread down some other form of narcissism that just puts me off. But that’s just my opinion, and btw, this post, was very tasteful, informative and doesn’t fall into any of those categories since it is mostly about blogs and people… not blogs and internet.
Well said, David!
whoa rockstar dairies (the blog mentioned in the article) is a little much – i can tell you that is not your average couple.
I was cracking up.
I have been a fan of Motley Mama ever since googling “japan stuffed toy pee poo”… I’m so glad a link to your site came up instead of … something else.
Anyway I suppose the hits from the UK give Mary and I away. We appreciate your candid voice and clever lists. It’s a quick , satisfying read and somehow we can relate even though we’re not parenting yet.
Keep up the effort – you’re on your way to Internet Celebrity!
By the way http://www.idrive.com/wordpress.htm is good for WordPress site backups.
Cheers
Rob, you kill me.
#5. Amen.
#6. Realizing I made a spelling mistake will stop me dead in my tracks, no matter where I am. I always gasp…loudly. And then moan. It’s an awful feeling.
I hate when I visit a blog and am bombarded by ads and giveaways and contests. So annoying. Readers want content- good content – delivered genuinely and regularly.
You’re doing great!
i don’t “have time” (tee hee) to write a blog because i spend that time doing what i love so much more……reading about you, and about other super cool folks i don’t get to see very often!
thanks for making time for your blog, even in the midst of all that you have going on in your life.
i looove it. :)
You are such a loyal royal and make my life better.
I’m worried that I don’t know what you’re talking about with backing up my website?? but I’m still a blogspot address, so maybe I’m ok. Should I become a .com?
I do love blogging – it got me a writing job that I also love! I am amused to see which posts are most popular with my readers – and it’s definitely not the ones where I try to (tastefully) direct their attention to my etsy shop. ha.
I try to pretend that there are no scary stalkers out there and that no one knows where I am on the East Coast. Gosh I hope I’m right.
AND I meant to say that I enjoy your writing! It’s crisp and direct and makes me laugh. Thank you.
Thanks Margo!
I don’t have blogger, but this looks about right: http://www.labnol.org/internet/blogging/backup-your-blogger-blog/5984/
All of this. So true. My family read my blog long before other readers and now I feel paralyzed…I want to write about more personal things but know that my best friend’s older brother and my mother in law will read it and bring it up in casual conversation – totally cool with blog friends – not cool with real life people. (aka fissures)
And sadly I have the worst spelling/grammar ever due to a slight learning disability – my brain auto corrects – making it so hard to proof read. So if you find errors, feel free to point them out!!!
It’s so hard to edit your own writing! My brain just skips over things because I know what I want it to say.
I’m not sure what to do about the whole family + blogging debacle. Suck it up and just accept it will be a little (or a lot) awkward?
I mostly write my blog as a creative outlet that some family and friends read. I think I write it as if everyone online were reading it because then it’s fun for me. :) I like reading blogs (especially yours- yes I love your blog) because I like reading about other people’s REAL LIVES. I’m a newlywed and one of these days I’ll have kids and things, and I like reading about how other people do it. Besides, your kid is so dang cute. :)
I just started blogging about being a mom, but I’ve been blogging about writing for the past three years or so. I think the most important thing is finding that connection to your readers, either by post subject matter or by simply engaging in conversation with them.
Anyway I am glad I found your blog even though I’m a rather new reader :)
Also your writing voice is awesome–down-to-earth and fun. Just had to throw that tidbit in there too!