First of all, I truly believe there are no stupid questions in life. If you are sincere, you’re in the clear.
However.
When you ask me if I love being a Mommy, I don’t know what to say. It’s like asking if I love the sun. Of course I love the sun; it’s warm, it’s beautiful, I need it to survive. But it also gives me sunburn if I’m around it too long and dries up all my plants.
Admittedly, anyone who has ever asked me this does not have kids. Maybe they are scouting out the terrain? I remember hoping it was a lot like having a cat.
One of my greatest fears about becoming a mom was losing myself. I worried that all of a sudden I would be out on this little island alone, mumbling to myself about diaper rash and breast milk. I worried that my friends would abandon me, my husband would lose interest, and that I’d stop doing all the things I love. Fortunately the opposite has happened. Friends have rallied around me, Austin has been a superhero, and while I obviously have a lot less “me” time–I still manage to occasionally enjoy myself. Like right now, for example. There he lays in the dry sink, vacuum blaring beside him, sleeping like an angel. That spot on the carpet is going to be very, very clean.
Another question I’m often asked is if he is a good baby.
You know, I joke a lot about this little meatball, but I do honestly love him like none other. He is so handsome (his saving grace) and I never regret having him or being with him all day. Despite his loud shriekings, he has some pretty great qualities too. But he is not a “good baby.” He is very needy, does not sleep through the night, and has the tendency to spit up in my hair. But of course I don’t want to say any of this. Especially if I haven’t seen you since high school and we only have a few minutes to chat. And really, what am I supposed to say? No, he’s a bad baby? The poor guy doesn’t know his own hand from a space alien, so I don’t think he’s doing any of it on purpose.
I was reading an article on NPR this morning about parenthood and I think they got it right when they said “Having a baby is not just a fabulous, enriching experience that opens up your capacity for love and endless opportunities for personal growth. It’s also miserably hard work. A baby is like the worst houseguest ever: endlessly demanding, keeping you up at all hours, needing to be fed and making a mess of the whole place. ”
Thank goodness they’re cute.
***
may i just say that i so enjoy reading your posts – the fact that you just tell it like it is. you’re a no bs mama, and i love you for it. :) looking forward to seeing you later this month and holding that little booger (screaming and all). At least I hope you are planning on coming. If there’s anywhere you can whip out your boobies and feel completely at ease, it’s with the Baer women. :)
Exactly right. More often than not, I’d rather not have kids. But the times they are the cutest little angels are just so precious that I forget they know how to holler and fight. And of course the love. You don’t get that kind of love from your siblings, parents, or spouse. This morning Tage curled up on the couch with me and just threw his arms around me like he wanted to make me feel all better. And last night, Jada came skipping downstairs before bed and said, “Mommy, I want a hug!”
Yeah, I wouldn’t give my kids up for anything (and I say that while I am standing amidst a large pile of blocks and they are dropping their lunches all over the floor).
P.S. I love his onesie!
Compliments of Auntie P!
Kate, I love reading your blog! I know you love Waylon and I also know that being a mommy is hard work. I think it’s great that you can express your feelings and those feelings will continue to change and grow, but you’ll always love Waylon! Keep writing – I look forward to reading your thoughts.
Love, Pat
note about the photo: I just love how he is putting out his mom and his dad’s facial expressions… all in one.
It is also amazing what people will ask you when they don’t really want to hear ALL about it. I think you should just start diving into long explanations of how to define ‘good baby’ and then start comparing Waylon to having a pet cat. ;)
“There he lays in the dry sink, vacuum blaring beside him, sleeping like an angel. That spot on the carpet is going to be very, very clean.” Hilarious! You’ll miss moments like these! Love you to and WT!
I think that question is such a spoiled american question anyway! Who cares if you love being a mommy or not? You are right! Like so many things, you love it sometimes and other times you want to run away screaming! We are moms now! let’s not worry about if we love being moms or not!
Amen.
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hahaha, i just went back and read thsi and had to LOL at the hand / space alien line. hilarious. also true. and so is that NPR quote.
you can write, kate.
not like you needed me to tell you.