Question: Can baby blues come 6 weeks late?
If so, I’m knee deep. Or maybe chest deep, it’s hard to tell. It all depends on the level of screaming.
It could just be a coincidence of unfortunate events. Yesterday baby W spent all day crying (and I mean all day), which didn’t help matters. The only time he wasn’t crying was when he was eating or (hardly) sleeping. When I finally fell into bed last night my ears actually hurt from listening to it all day.
There was also the car accident on Monday and the 72 dollar estrogen cream… but let me back up.
I had my six week check up with the midwives this week. It was also the first time I’d ever left the house with the baby alone. I had been anxious about it all morning, but I took a few deep breaths and told myself that of course I can do this. No big deal.
The car ride wasn’t too bad; 45 minutes and only minimal crying. When we got into the city, I picked up a friend who had graciously agreed to hold the baby in the waiting room so they could look at my nethers in peace.
Midway through the exam I can hear him screaming from all the way down the hall. This does not help me relax, something I’ve been instructed to do about ten times so that the midwife can do her job. Apparently I’m a bit tense. Five minutes of steady crying later, I inform her that we should probably wrap this up. She agrees, but says I need to take heed of my “area” with some special cream because it hasn’t healed up properly. She does not mention that this cream will cost 72 dollars.
I’m sad that I’m not done healing, but I had suspected it due to some lingering pain and try to listen to her instruction over the wails of my offspring a few rooms away. When I finally get to the bugger, he looks sad but my friend looks worse. I feel awful and rush us to my car, asking her to drive so I can sit in the back and save her ears from any more damage.
I love my friend very much, but she is a hot mess. Not even five minutes later we are in a (very minor) car accident that sounds a lot worse than it is but still makes my blood pressure sky rocket.
At this point I really want to go home, but my friend has decided to tell me the 4 hour version of her life’s story over lunch. By the time they are clearing our plates, I am emotionally exhausted and the baby is still fussing. I get home in enough time to make dinner, but burn my hand on the stove and discover I am developing a rather itchy and burny stye in my eye. I go to sleep with a hot rag on my face.
The next day is not better. As I mentioned before, a lot of crying. A different friend comes to explore the town’s new library with me, but it’s pouring buckets and the baby cries the entire time. Some annoyed glances are thrown my way and the librarian glares over her glasses. I pray she falls into a very deep puddle.
It doesn’t help that this is Baby Daddy’s first week of actual class. This means he is M.I.A from 7am-10pm, with only one brief break to talk at dinner. It has been a difficult adjustment, to say the least, but I’m trying my hardest to be supportive and not horribly depressed/irrational/crazy.
I realize this post is a whole lot of complaining, and I apologize. I suppose I’m still a bit cranky. To save you all from any further griping, I will spend today focusing on as many positive things as possible. Like reading my new book (it’s so good) and figuring out how to cook an eggplant.
My sincerest respect to anyone who has ever had a baby. This shiz is hard.
***
Yes, baby blues come any time in the first year. Quite understandable that you’d get them now. I was always worse when Brad was gone for longer periods (still am, actually).
I’ll rescue you on Friday. Sorry I can’t come sooner. I’m up to my eyeballs in tomatoes (and soon peaches).
Make eggplant parmesan! We had it last night.
Lightly fry the egg plant slices in a tiny bit of oil. Place in a greased casserole dish and top with herbed bread crumbs and parm cheese. Smother it in your favorite spaghetti/tomato sauce. Top with a bit of grated cheddar cheese. Bake at 350 til bubbly.
Oh, and you could always come here to spend some time. I’m sad I’m not closer but I would have a bed for baby to sleep in if he decides to stop crying.
Thanks for the recipe, Z!
go easy on yourself. having a newborn and being a mom is the HARDEST job ever. It always took A and I quite a while to get used to having a new addition (longer than 6 weeks!). Hormones are all out of whack. You have a lot of changes in your life in addition to W.
You are a good momma. If you really feel sad for a long period of time, do contact your doc for some assistance, or if you are in doubt talk to him/her anyway – they are used to it, and baby blue happen and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. There are so many people that love you. you will get through this crying stage w/ W. M did the same thing. It was brutal, but it eventually passed. Love you.
oh, and does the friend that told her 4-hour story read your blog? ;)
Thanks Karen!
She doesn’t read it, but gave me permission to tell the story :)
You can do it! of course, it’s hard, it’s horrible, it’s yucky, and great! I know how it is to not have a hubby around! You will get much much much better at it! But it takes time! Relax, and do it little as possible!
You are doing great. There will be good and bad days but soon they will all get much better. Praying this all passes by quickly. So wish I was closer. Let me know what book you are reading. Always need a good read especially since we will be heading for the beach soon. love you bunches, grams xo
If you click on the words “new book” –it will take you to the link on amazon :) It’s called Room, by Emma Donoghue.
Oh my Kate.. you are having a time of it.. and I know none of it is fun, but.. sometimes I smile as I am reading just picturing the whole incident or incidents..anyone that has had babies can smile as they read about your trying times because we all know it gets better!! And knowing that is encouraging, but it doesnt stop the madness at the moment..hang in there.. we are all praying for you and love you!! Oh.. dont feel bad for complaining..we all have done that as well..I really think you should take Zoe up on the visit.. it might be good for you.. and she can handle it.. :-)) xxoo AJ
It does get better. Really. All that crap I write about falling apart and getting mad at my kids and wanting to put myself on time out? It’s all made up. It’s actually gloriously simple and easy.
Okay, so not really. But REALLY, babies ARE hard.
And the wicked hormones throw EVERYTHING out of whack. It is so not fair.
Oh Kate, what a tough day! Maybe you’ll remember it and laugh in a few years? I love the picture of Waylon in this post. His squishy little cheeks are so precious.
When Sam was about Waylon’s age, he cried all the time. I felt like the second and third months of his life were full of tears and more tears and he wouldn’t nap anymore! Maybe it’s something about the age? Because I’ve heard of other moms saying the same thing about those months. It doesn’t help when hormones are out of control either!
Thinking of you!
It always makes me feel better when I know I don’t have the only screaming baby. Thanks Bec!
ohh my. what a horribly difficult day. i definitely feel for you kate, adjusting to kyle in medical school was so hard and included A LOT of tears on my part during those long, long days…and I was not also responsible for an infant! what you are doing is HARD, so I agree with others to go easy on yourself. wishing you a peaceful day with moments of rest!
You might not want to hear this, because I do see you love tomatoes….but I recently read tomatoes can contribute to colic?! “Food for thought” I suppose… may be worth looking into. Good luck!
Good thinking Lindsey! Unfortunately I’ve tried cutting out everything, and nothing seems to help. I actually think the problem is that he’s throwing up and then swallowing it again, which burns his little throat. Poor guy. Good days and bad days though–today is good, so we’re headed out for a walk :) Hope you and baby are doing well!
Kate, I just love to read your blog. It brings back so many memories for me. This blog hits me especially hard. And here is why. Until Alicia was born I had four nearly perfect babies. Then she came and friends even said I deserved one like her – fussy,noisy, all that for almost a year! I am sure you know where I am going with this. Yes, I remember her – those trying times even – and treasure them more than ever. Can’t even think of them without crying now. So treasure these not so pleasant times right along with the good. And by the way, it is okay to complain too! I for one, don’t mind a bit. Love you. Keep on being a great Mamma.
A good reminder. Thanks for your support, Grace.
I COMPLETELY understand everything!!! I am a year from this stage but remember it very vividly!!! Just keep going one day at a time and it WILL get better! Kyla is FINALLY sleeping through the night for more than one or two nights! And it just happened this past week! But I wouldn’t change a thing! She is the joy of our lives and even when she is fussy she’s still beautiful! Thanks Kate for sharing your journey with all of us! It makes me smile and cry all at the same time! :)