On Weddings And Wedding Nights

We were married on the second to last day of May, on one of those perfect Spring days meant for weddings. Low 70s, no humidity, and miles of clear blue sky.

Many a girl grows up dreaming about her wedding day; the cake, the colors, the flowers, the hair. I am not that girl. Over and over again I was asked about my centerpieces and over and over again I rolled my eyes and said, “who cares?”

Of course I did care a little, but mostly all I cared about was the dress. Oh that beautiful, wonderful dress.  Never underestimate the power of a wedding gown. I never wanted to take it off…until I did.

A word about sex: We waited. We waited and waited and waited and I think we deserve a medal for that. It’s the same way I feel about washing and reusing my Ziploc bags. I know it’s selfish and stupid, but sometimes I just want to be congratulated because it’s certainly not something I want to do. I do it because it’s right and I know I’ll feel good about it later.

You see, we’d already done it before. Not with each other, but with a few other people, so we knew exactly what we were missing out on. But we made a commitment from the beginning and wanted to stick it out. You may wonder–why bother? Sometimes we did too. Honestly it had more to do with past experience than any religious prompt. Morals aside, sex complicates things in a way that can easily take a turn for the worse. Neither of us are ones to preach abstinence, but looking back–I’m glad we waited. I should list it on my résumé under accomplishments.

Anyway, we got married. And even though the preparation for it was a huge pain-in-the-ass undertaking (small budgets do that), the actual day was fabulous. A late afternoon ceremony, six bridesmaids, six groomsmen, and some of the worst irritable bowels ever. I said I absolutely would not cry, so of course I blubbered like an idiot all the way down the aisle. I should have known, last week I cried over a Black Eyed Peas flash mob.

The reception was held at a gorgeous farm owned by some family friends. I hadn’t eaten real food in such a long time that the fajitas tasted like magic. Everyone we knew and loved was there and of course it flew by so fast I barely had time to appreciate it.

The truth is weddings are wonderful, yes, but they only skim the surface of the true elephant that is marriage. I think we all know this, but just in case you’re planning a 200,000 wedding–stop and remember that once all the doves fly away, all that’s left is some bird shit and laundry to fold.  

I do not believe in soul mates. I do not believe in fairy tales. I did not know from the moment I met Austin that I would marry him and I certainly did not fall in love at first sight. 

I do know that I married a good man on a beautiful day and that we make it work. This I know for sure.

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Continued from Love Story