40 weeks later and Baby Baer is finally due for arrival. Of course we all know that due dates don’t mean much, but like every other anxious pregnant woman–I have been waiting for this day for months now, fully expecting he would be born today or before. Yet despite being overly restless for him to arrive, I’m equally apprehensive about actually taking care of him. Birth is scary, but that will end. Being a mother will not.
You would think that nine whole months of thinking about having a baby would help mentally prepare me for what is to come, and yet I find myself staring at infants in the grocery store and wondering what the heck I’m supposed to do with one of those. What if I drop it? What if it’s crying and I can’t make it stop? What if I get soap in its eyes and he never forgives me? What if I keep calling HIM an it?!
Of course I am very excited to meet Baby Baer. Baby Daddy is equally as enthused, although I wonder if he’s also just looking forward to a non-pregnant wife.
Conversation from this week:
Me: I really don’t feel like going tonight.
Austin: You don’t have to go, that’s fine.
Me: I mean I want go, but I’ll just be so uncomfortable. I won’t enjoy myself.
Austin: I don’t think you should go.
Me: Do you not want me to go because I’ll be uncomfortable or because you’d rather go alone?
Austin: I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.
Me: It would be easier to stay home if I knew you’d rather go alone.
Austin: I’d rather go alone.
Me: Seriously you don’t you want me to go with you?! Why?
I thought this craziness might end this morning when I woke up at 5am to a very uncomfortable feeling in my abdomen and back. I absolutely could not sit or lie still and paced around for the next four hours trying to figure out if these cramps and pains meant anything or if it was just more annoying false labor. When Austin got out of bed at 9am, it had finally ended and I was in no mood for pleasantries. Luckily I have the luxury of being able to sleep during the day (no job, no other kids) and I promptly heaved myself back into bed and slept until noon.
On the bright side, we get to enjoy one last date (for awhile) tonight and dine on one of our favorite cuisines. It shouldn’t be too long now. See you on the other side.